surviving the weekend

Feeling lonely this weekend. Went for a long walk to try and clear my head but it didn't work. I'm cutting myself off again and I don't know why. Weeks are not so bad - work keeps me going - but weekends are tough.
I got an invite to a friend's wedding. It said "bring your partners" and I thought "what about me?" Another night of being alone while surrounded by people? Or another event I avoid, make excuses for not going? Another friend I slowly alienate? I'm getting good at that. And I wonder why no one contacts me.
I thought about you today. I think about you every day, actually. It doesn't get any better though.