MrOutacontrol

I have been gone so long I no longer know anyone here.  I guess that is why I deleted my friends, even though they were good people. So many things have improved, and I am moving forward in so many...

Christmas day.  Still dark out. I have been getting up way early now, too early.  I used to get way more done when I would get a buzz on.  Not sure what to make of it, but now I run out of steam...

'twas the day before Christmas, on the job I gave and gaveno rest for the weary, not here in this cavebut up in the bedroom my wife sleeps in our bedambivalent feelings all up in my headis she all...

Day five without drinking, and it feels like it has been a long long time.  Not that I am having any craving, but this time distortion makes it easier to deceive myself into thinking I don't drink...

Day 4 begins.  Last night went out with wife and friends, good food, good music.  No drinking, no desire to.  Feeling more hopeful. Gonna keep counting those days

A bit less shame, trying to get back on the horse again.  Sometimes when I screw up I feel I'me not even entitled to use the tools I know.  Anyway day 3.  Keeping count just as a reminder.

The start of day 2 without alcohol, but since I'me a binger, not a big deal.  Mindfulness, I need so much to make it a permanent part of my state of mind.  At this second I feel excited to remember...

So I drank so much last night I have been sick all day.  I don't know why.  All day I have no desire, but then find myself drinking.  I know so much about alcohol abuse mentally, but cannot seem...

I have been gone so long I no longer know anyone here.  I guess that is why I deleted my friends, even though they were good people. So many things have improved, and I am moving forward in so many...

Well there have been a few reasons for no posts in a while.  Given that I am trying to ingrain the habit of being self disciplined about making the effort to post, I guess I have been lazy.  I have...

Let's get creative with a new font.  Tonight there have been a lot of very real people, with very real dilemas exposing some pretty vulnerable stuff here.  It just seems to have hit me how real it...

The weeks seem to be rolling on like the cars of a freight train, unstoppable, predictable.  I have been feeling better in a lot of ways, although I have not been able to muster the energy to resume...

Well I just did something and deleted my entire entry.  Hmm.   I feel like the crushing fatigue is lifting a bit. With less effort, I seem to be getting more done at work, and have been getting...

I'me feeling pretty darned good today.  I am consitanly able to do about 3 of the items on my "plan" most days.  Still not good about getting some exercise, which based on the past, should be the...

The voice in my mind keeps on with the "ya, but---", a million reasons why working on change just won't work.  ARGHHHH  Change comes when a person sees a goal clearly, and works toward it, or when...