The weeks seem to be rolling on like the cars of a freight train, unstoppable, predictable.  I have been feeling better in a lot of ways, although I have not been able to muster the energy to resume all of my life.  But, with some energy, it is easier to pick a task and take some action.  The big dilemma, which I have bumped up against in the past, is when taking action leads to a point when a big decision is needed.  Sometimes my courage is apparent, but a lot of the time I retreat.  So it's time to change my "plan" a bit. The old plan was:1.  meditate daily for 20 min.2.  resume phyiscal conditioning at least 3x/wk 3.  write about my comittment to work toward my goals at least daily4.  talk to my wife daily about working toward my goals daily5.  remember my goals are to:    be aware and willing to acknowlege when I am bothered, rather than stuffing it away    be willing to do something about it or not stick around so long, rather than stuffing it away    not take criticism as a total invalidation of my competence/worth #1, not happening. #2sometimes happening, #3, modify to "affirm my commitment--", happening, #4semi-happening, need to improve, #5doing it.  So: 1.  engage in an activity 3x/wk to improve physical and mental strength and health.2. engage in a concrete activity involving communicating with people at least daily to keep the central dilema of action vs passivity in my awareness. 3.  on a weekly basis be able to point to at least one specific example of taking action when retreat is the comfortable way to go.4. Give each day a rating on the "wuss scale" in writing.  The long and short of it: Needed-- energy and courage