I've had a fascinating experience that's made me reflect on life's little twists and turns of humanity.A little while back, I had lunch with a girl I know. I thought she was cute, but we were just friends. As we ate together, one topic led to another, and we started to talk about personal hang-ups. I felt comfortable enough— or maybe just brave enough— or maybe just attracted enough to her— to let it slip that I felt uncomfortable about my hair. I was losing it, and I knew it showed.To my surprise, she responded with a brusk, "Yeah, the comb-over thing doesn't work."Since you brought it up, she said…A sharp pain hit me. It was partly what she said, and partly the way she contorted her face. Moreover, this was a girl who cared about the way her words affected others.Still… I believe she meant well. She later e-mailed me, saying, "Again I hope you took what I said in the manner in which it was intended.  You're a great guy and if I didn't care I wouldn't have mentioned anything.  You seemed open. =)"Well, I actually wasn't that open— or not in that way. I didn't want to hear such criticism about something I already felt self-conscious about. Whether or not my hair looked full, I wanted to live with the belief that it did. I didn't want anyone debunking that thought.But ignorance is bliss, and this girl's comment made me see my ignorance.Her comment hurt. But it also prompted me, after consulting with a couple of other female friends, to change my hair style. The very day I spoke to all three of them, I went to the barbershop and put my scalp in the hands of a new barber.I was semi-resigned to a change. I couldn't fight the passage of time; I could only work with it.When he was done, the new style shocked me. How short! It seemed to me to accentuate my hair loss. At the same, I had to believe that it was better than combing thinning hair over my head.When I sat down to dinner with a friend that evening, he, too, felt shocked upon seeing my new style. I asked him for his honest opinion, and he said he liked the old style better. And yet, as the meal went along, and he got adjusted to it, he actually came to like the new way.Since then, over many weeks, I've gotten a number of comments on the hair. And you know what? Most have been positive. Not one has been disparaging.Even two attractive girls I know have complimented me on it. (And I believe people's comments on the whole.)So, I look back to that day when I had lunch with that girl. At the time, her comment hurt. Those of my two other friends, the ones I consulted afterwards to see if I should change the style, supported her opinion, and that hurt, too. But I made a change according to those three reactions, and now look what's happened: I've received so many positive compliments!So, which would have been better: Living with my view— an illusion, at least in part— that my hair looked fine, and being spared a jab of pain from a comment? Or hearing a difficult comment, as I did, and its putting me on a different course— one that made me more attractive in the eyes of a number of people?I'm humbled to think I know which one is better.