deepdark's Profile | DailyStrength

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Mood: Horrible

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About Me

Age: 65

Gender: Female

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Journal Comment

Posted by: deepdark

Posted: 01/26/2021

deepdark commented on deepdark's journal The only way to go is up
Darkness all around me

Posted by: deepdark

Posted: 01/24/2021

1

Waiting for the antidepressant to kick in. Will it? These are the darkest days I feel I've ever spent. With it comes shame & guilt. My mother says snap out of it there are people who have worse situations than you you selfish beast I can't spend another day another minute like this. The only safe place is my bed. Everything else is a chore. Yes I'm lucky I can take to my bed but the dread that surrounds me is unbearable. My mother also says it's not meds it's you you need a new therapist....
New Friend

Posted by: deepdark

Posted: 12/06/2020

deepdark became friends with Anna1212.
New Friend

Posted by: deepdark

Posted: 11/29/2020

deepdark became friends with Restful.
New Friend

Posted by: deepdark

Posted: 12/01/2020

deepdark became friends with rosykitten.
The only way to go is up

Posted by: deepdark

Posted: 11/30/2020

3

I do beleive I had hit my bottom. Yesterday at 3 am to be exact. Why is nobody responding to my entries? It hurts but it is. I'll talk to myself then just to hear myself think lolAnyway since I am not eligible for the magical new treatments designed to treat my relentless depression I will have to make a CONSCIOUS EFFORT to think positive & break out of it by myself. To treat myself with kindness & give myself a break. To do what feels soothing & shelve what does not serve me right now. If it's...
Depression

Discussion Comment

Posted by: deepdark

Posted: 11/29/2020

deepdark commented on the discussion I’m feeling rejected by the board.
Depression

I’m feeling rejected by the board

Posted by: deepdark

Last Reply: Prycejosh1987 12/04/2020

9

I have 10 " friends" on this board. My email sends me writings from their journals & we answer eachother & send hugs. I have journaled twice & posted & basically begged for an answer & no nada zip I haven't heard boo. I don't think I'm doing anything different that I used to do when posting journal entries. I get their journals in my emails & I assume they get mine. I do understand that my perceptions are distorted by my depression but I'm feeling very very hurt & quite distraught by this silly...
Am I really bipolar?

Posted by: deepdark

Posted: 11/29/2020

1

It's on my insurance records therefore I'm ineligible for a vast amount of treatments. And I'm taking bipolar meds that clearly aren't workingi wonder now if I just stated I'm bipolar or if I was legitimately diagnosedall I can do at this point is improve my attitude. Be positive. Get a hobbyi was seeing my dr every 2 weeks. At my latest appt he increased my meds( the bipolar ones)& his receptionist informed me I couldn't get an appt for 5 weeksim anxious and I don't evenhave enough anxiety...
Enveloped by darkness

Posted by: deepdark

Posted: 11/27/2020

0

Last time I spoke to my dr I spoke of my overwhelming anxiety. He prescribed something that my angst seems to burn off but I suppose takes the edge off. With my anxiety soothed a bit my depression took over in full front & center force taking my breath from me & leaving me steeped in grief & a loneliness that nothing can touch. I wake up with it & now it follows me thru the entire day till I finally go to sleep at an unbelievably early hour bc I just cannot stand being awake anymore. I talk &...
Journal Comment

Posted by: deepdark

Posted: 11/27/2020

deepdark commented on Littlechef's journal Missing friends
Journal Comment

Posted by: deepdark

Posted: 11/24/2020

deepdark commented on Littlechef's journal A big hug for everyone.
Journal Comment

Posted by: deepdark

Posted: 11/21/2020

deepdark commented on Littlechef's journal Sick of pretending I'm OK
Journal Comment

Posted by: deepdark

Posted: 11/20/2020

deepdark commented on Littlechef's journal Woke up with a bad headache and very tired.
Journal Comment

Posted by: deepdark

Posted: 11/19/2020

deepdark commented on Littlechef's journal If I've missed anyone with a hug.

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