gogogiz

oh gosh..i hope this all works out..i hope the papers get to him the way i want..i hope i dont have to try for some extension that i dont want..i have L going to try in the morning and i hope she's...

always..this twittering jittering anxiety that follows me around.  feeling fat today, looking like shit, i can see my reflection in this screen and am wondering..omg..am i getting old?  i'm getting...

on wed night..i found out he wont be playing anymore..at least i sure do hope he never shows his ugly mug again, but i went on thursday..i had the most fun i've had in ages!laughed, was soooooooo...

no matter what, how bad things seem, how much pain you feel, just when you think it cant get any worse, it can always be worse so remember..it is okwhen it is ok..look for the positives, focus,...

i just have no one to talk to.  i'm searching these groups looking to talk to someone and no one is here.  even A isnt chatting wiht me..hes got the hugs and the love for me but it comes attached...

boy..today was quite the day.  i woke up full of anxiety, i thought by 2 pm i was gonna die from it, it was so intense.  i smoked like a chimney, spilled my guts, cried like a baby and refocused....

and i feel better.  the longer i go without talking to him, the better i feel.  although i want to know what he's doing and all taht stupid stuff, i've decided to not worry about how he's feeling...

the first journal of many.  i dont know who will read this if anyone.  all i know is that i have to sahre what i'm feeling and wht i'm thinking before i go crazy.  after all the crap i've been...

Well. I was feeling dumb but not anymore. Just feeling shaken. Did not backfire on me. I jest got the validation that I knew I needed. I diidnt go there holding any hope oif anything or wishing for...

Fuck I hate seeing his big ugly mug! Y doesn't he just leave my life already?! I served the garnishment order on him at his work yesterday. He's got this nice new cue that I wanna smash over his fn...

I've learned a lot thhis year. I'm thankful for thhat. Experienced A lot of pain and confusion but it was only to help me become stronger. GOd works in mysterious wAys for sure. I knoW better now

i am frustrated!  i'm frustrated with myself for still feeling this anxiety.  i feel afraid.  afraid of what?  i dont know.  i hate this feeling. i woke up at 6 which i guess is normal, but i...

ok..so we had court last week.  is it just a coincidence that the very next day i see him directly outside my work, next to my van, in his truck, grinning at me all evil, staring at me, shaking his...

I'm sick of this ugly feeling that comes back all the time. I went out with my mom yesterday n we we'ree in the old neighborhood and I think I'm shell shocked. I mean I get these flashback feelings...

i know i will never accept that kind of behaviour again.but what now?  have to learn to have healthier relationships, but need to deal with this continuing anxiety.  I feel like i've been shell...