She Visits Me in My Dreams...
Before I forget them all- I am making this effort to recall my dreams when they occurred and why I think they are important before they are forever lost in my bumbling brain of nonsense.
Shortly after mom died, I remember dreaming she and my younger brother Tim were together, they actually showed up together in my dream and I believe this dream happened a few days after mom's actual death. Interestingly enough - it was what my older brother - who is a special needs adult, due to brain damage, cerebral palsy and epilepsy wanted to know first. So I am thinking mom was trying to get him the message through me...which makes sense since everyone in my family is aware of my sixth sense - and this dream thing has been going on for years. So the first message, or dream of my mom was a dream for Peter...but also me. Knowing mom and Tim found each other is a huge comfort.
The next dream of my mom was very intimate and precisely for me. Peter has lived with my mom his entire life. She never prepared him for the world, other than she gave him a lot of back bone from her own feisty and intelligent way of looking, and dealing with this world. My mom infused a sense of strength into my brother - that, for whatever it is worth, has sustained him, and enabled him to travel all over the world, and to fear nothing -other than being labeled weak or inferior to people born with all their faculties or without any 'brain damage' or other physical restrictions.
However, while mom was dying, she was terribly worried Peter's 'routine' was being compromised and that somehow I was not going honor 'her schedule' with him, or even understand their special relationship and carry it into the next chapter of his life with me...as both my husband and I had promised my mom that we would take care of Peter, and include him - or absorb him into our family without missing a beat.
My dream was also shortly after her death...these are consecutive dreams...it is as if she is very adamant that she get her messages through and they come to me crisply, loudly and clearly. In this second dream my mom is in her 20's, the age she was when she had my brother Peter. I am observing her giving birth to my brother. She and the baby are both naked. Peter is a sweet baby. She is cradling him and I am sensing her fear she might break him or hurt him. She shows me the act of giving Peter a bath and she shows it to me as if I am she, as if I am bathing him, and looking into the sweet babies eyes, in other words my mom fuses with me - - and I see and experience the radiant smile of my brother as he looks into the eyes of his mommy and yet, I am now those eyes- but I am not his mommy...but I am his mommy. It was the best and most intense love I have ever seen in a dream given to me by mom - - she needed me to be her - - to see what the momma sees when the momma gives birth to a sweet baby and that baby is wounded in some way...and now that wounded baby is 50 and she is gone...and I am here and he is not as cute as an infant, but his soul is.
The most recent dream is interesting because it involves a discussion my mom and I had many times about 'celestial bodies' and what happens to our bodies after we are dead, and what we are given by God to use in the afterlife, or at the end of this world and the beginning of the next. I am of the ilk that we cannot understand God and His intensions, and my idea is that most of scripture is allegory and is not meant to be taken literally, and one person's idea of a celestial body may be light and not physical and human (mine) when another's idea of a vcelestial body may be more human and etherial.
So here I am in the dream, we are in our home we grew up in and I wander into mom's room in the back of the house (mom and dad were divorced when I was 5 so it was always mom's room) - I find my mom sleeping and I wake her and realize she is actually dead and I have lost her, and am aware this is a dream and we are communicating - - and I cry and hold her tight telling her how much I miss her and wish she hadn't gone from us so soon. Her response to me was to show me her beautiful celestial body. Her glowing skin and her fingers, how plump they are and for me to touch her fingernails to see how smooth they are...and then she said look at my cheeks, my hair - I am full of all health and free of the old body....the next thing I knew she was walking away from me and I called out to her asking if I would see her again, and she said she will see me often and that she would be with me...then she literally disappeared down a long corridor.
These dreams fill me with love.
Though last night - - I woke a multitude of times - - each time I said to myself and out loud to my husband - - my mom is dead. She is gone - - and I am just so so so sad. Tears fill my face and my cries are from the bottom of my very being. She was given to me by God, and in His love for all of us He gave us to each other on earth - and I was and am lucky to be the recipient of such love. If this is the love of God for us on earth...what can possibly be waiting for us on the other side?
Shortly after mom died, I remember dreaming she and my younger brother Tim were together, they actually showed up together in my dream and I believe this dream happened a few days after mom's actual death. Interestingly enough - it was what my older brother - who is a special needs adult, due to brain damage, cerebral palsy and epilepsy wanted to know first. So I am thinking mom was trying to get him the message through me...which makes sense since everyone in my family is aware of my sixth sense - and this dream thing has been going on for years. So the first message, or dream of my mom was a dream for Peter...but also me. Knowing mom and Tim found each other is a huge comfort.
The next dream of my mom was very intimate and precisely for me. Peter has lived with my mom his entire life. She never prepared him for the world, other than she gave him a lot of back bone from her own feisty and intelligent way of looking, and dealing with this world. My mom infused a sense of strength into my brother - that, for whatever it is worth, has sustained him, and enabled him to travel all over the world, and to fear nothing -other than being labeled weak or inferior to people born with all their faculties or without any 'brain damage' or other physical restrictions.
However, while mom was dying, she was terribly worried Peter's 'routine' was being compromised and that somehow I was not going honor 'her schedule' with him, or even understand their special relationship and carry it into the next chapter of his life with me...as both my husband and I had promised my mom that we would take care of Peter, and include him - or absorb him into our family without missing a beat.
My dream was also shortly after her death...these are consecutive dreams...it is as if she is very adamant that she get her messages through and they come to me crisply, loudly and clearly. In this second dream my mom is in her 20's, the age she was when she had my brother Peter. I am observing her giving birth to my brother. She and the baby are both naked. Peter is a sweet baby. She is cradling him and I am sensing her fear she might break him or hurt him. She shows me the act of giving Peter a bath and she shows it to me as if I am she, as if I am bathing him, and looking into the sweet babies eyes, in other words my mom fuses with me - - and I see and experience the radiant smile of my brother as he looks into the eyes of his mommy and yet, I am now those eyes- but I am not his mommy...but I am his mommy. It was the best and most intense love I have ever seen in a dream given to me by mom - - she needed me to be her - - to see what the momma sees when the momma gives birth to a sweet baby and that baby is wounded in some way...and now that wounded baby is 50 and she is gone...and I am here and he is not as cute as an infant, but his soul is.
The most recent dream is interesting because it involves a discussion my mom and I had many times about 'celestial bodies' and what happens to our bodies after we are dead, and what we are given by God to use in the afterlife, or at the end of this world and the beginning of the next. I am of the ilk that we cannot understand God and His intensions, and my idea is that most of scripture is allegory and is not meant to be taken literally, and one person's idea of a celestial body may be light and not physical and human (mine) when another's idea of a vcelestial body may be more human and etherial.
So here I am in the dream, we are in our home we grew up in and I wander into mom's room in the back of the house (mom and dad were divorced when I was 5 so it was always mom's room) - I find my mom sleeping and I wake her and realize she is actually dead and I have lost her, and am aware this is a dream and we are communicating - - and I cry and hold her tight telling her how much I miss her and wish she hadn't gone from us so soon. Her response to me was to show me her beautiful celestial body. Her glowing skin and her fingers, how plump they are and for me to touch her fingernails to see how smooth they are...and then she said look at my cheeks, my hair - I am full of all health and free of the old body....the next thing I knew she was walking away from me and I called out to her asking if I would see her again, and she said she will see me often and that she would be with me...then she literally disappeared down a long corridor.
These dreams fill me with love.
Though last night - - I woke a multitude of times - - each time I said to myself and out loud to my husband - - my mom is dead. She is gone - - and I am just so so so sad. Tears fill my face and my cries are from the bottom of my very being. She was given to me by God, and in His love for all of us He gave us to each other on earth - and I was and am lucky to be the recipient of such love. If this is the love of God for us on earth...what can possibly be waiting for us on the other side?
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