BahamaSun
Status: Cancer sucks! Please go away!
Mood:
Horrible
Offline
- How To Deal with Telemarketers1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems...
- An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.The boy asked, "What is this, Father?"The father...
- Walking along the beach, Dave tripped over a half-buried kerosene lantern. He rubbed its side and sure enough, a Genie materialized."I can't grant your wishes," explained the freed spirit. "But I'll give you three gifts for releasing me: a potion to...
- One day a man spotted an old brass lamp by the roadside. He picked it up, rubbed the dirt off of it, and a genie appeared."I'll grant you your fondest wish," the genie said.The man thought for a moment, then said, "I want a spectacular job - a job...
- A Friend... by: Author Unknown, Source Unknown (A)ccepts you as you are(B)elieves in "you"(C)alls you just to say "HI"(D)oesn't give up on you(E)nvisions the whole of you (even the unfinished parts)(F)orgives your mistakes(G)ives...
- Growing Good CornThere was a Nebraska farmer who grew award-winning corn. Each year he entered his corn in the state fair where it won a blue ribbon…One year a newspaper reporter interviewed him and learned something interesting about how he grew...
- The ShipwreckThe only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him, and every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming.Exhausted, he eventually managed to...
- Does anyone have a good remedy for morning sickness. I have a queasy feeling morning noon and night. I have tried ginger tea, and ginger ale, but neither helps a whole lot.Any other suggestions?
- George Carlin Strikes Again1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?3. Why do we say something is out of...
- Kids Understand LoveSince a very long time ago, people have searched for the meaning of love. But even the great philosophers, with their profound definitions, could not fully touch its true essence. In a survey of 4-8 year olds, kids share their...
- Brownie recipeHere's a recipe to make Mom's famous brownies!Remove teddy bear from oven and preheat oven to 375.Melt 1 cup margarine in saucepan.Remove teddy bear from oven and tell Jr "no, no."Add margarine to 2 cups sugar.Take shortening can away...
- Things Not To Say During Childbirth....-- Gosh, you're lucky. I sure wish men could experience the miracle of childbirth.-- Do you think the baby will come before Monday Night Football starts?-- I hope your ready. The Glamour Shot photographer will...
- I am currently 42, but will be 43 when my baby is born. The doctor suggests that I do an amnio. I hear there are a lot of risks with this procedure, but it can also help the baby since some things can now be treated in utero.Any thoughts?
- Whiners by: Maya Angelou, Condensed Chicken Soup for the SoulWhen my grandmother was raising me in Stamps, Arkansas, she had a particular routine when people who were known to be whiners entered her store. My grandmother would ask the customer,...
- PancakesA mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.“If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, ‘Let my brother...