Shlay
Status: Wish me luck!
Mood:
Ok
Offline
- For the first time in my life I used the right coping skills. I didn't take too many pain or anxiety pills, I didn't cut and I didn't try to kill myself. Massive kudo points for me. I give God 100% credit for this one. It was beyond me. I guess I...
- Thinking about suicide for the first time in a few months. I don't feel okay at all. I hate myself. Nothing I do is every good or right or enough. Please help me.
- All for your support and distraction though this crappy day. BUT I DID go out with my moms roommates friend and had the best conversation I've had in at least 10 months. On my way out the door again. PEACE AND LOVE ALL!
- Almost went for a walk. Almost sat outside to read for a bit and listen to music. Almost felt happy.Called my mother (who I live with) to tell her I was on my way out the door and she semi-started on me about hanging out with one of her roommates...
- I'm sitting in my room balling my eyes out. Thinking far too much. Way too lonely. Why can't I comprehend kindness and love? Why do I always feel as if it is going to stab me in the back? Why can't I trust? Why can't I open up when it matters? Why...
- For 10 months I was used to hanging out with someone almost every night. I don't even know what to do with myself tonight. I'm so lonely. My ex was an asshole and a pig. All he ever really wanted was sex and got mad when he didn't get his way. But...
- Is there a connection? I have the most vivid dreams in the whole fricking world and 9.9 times out of 10 they are nightmares.Is there any connection?
- I had a dream about kissing and doing other sexual things with a boy last night. But another aspect of the dream was that I was trying to get closer to this girl I've known for years and always admired her beauty and power. I woke up this morning...
- I just want to say today is the first day I've had the realization of, "Wow, I'm gay."Coming out to others is one thing, but to yourself is a whole other story. It's scary and confusing and I think it will be a life long journey of learning new...
- I used to be on it and it didn't help. But now I am on Geodon and my doc thinks the lamictal will work will with it. I just hope it works. I don't know how much longer I can feel depressed like this.I hope that getting off the nerotin will also...
- Or talking to someone online. I can't ever seem to just be alone. Any tips?
- It runs deep within my vanes, this deep colored flow.Moving with unspeakable velocity.Moving me forward and above all the others.Moving me to heaven and beyond. A color of my own. A mark on the world unlike any others.A scent that will call to the...
- And he was awesome! Even thought he grabbed at my knee and almost made me cry he helped me. I'm now on 5mg oxycodone and makes me feel like a brand new person.I'm cutting off my other "knee" doctor because she didn't even bother with an x-ray and...
- For now I am stuck in a perpetual persuasion of people surrounding me.Their words burden my back and break my soul.Their actions articulate their actual accusations. For now I am stuck in an world so wonderful, yet wasted.People religiously take the...
- I cut for the first time in over a year tonight. Not very bad, but I knew no other way to let all my anger and mental anguish out.I am at my breaking point. I don't know what to do anymore.I feel so numb.I feel so dead inside. I don't even feel...