mariahrachelle

Activity

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  Hug

  Posted by: mariahrachelle

  Posted: 07/12/2017

  mariahrachelle sent a hug to aspiringballerina

  You are never alone ❤️
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  Hug

  Posted by: mariahrachelle

  Posted: 07/12/2017

  mariahrachelle sent a hug to aspiringballerina
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  Journal Comment

  Posted by: mariahrachelle

  Posted: 06/25/2017

  mariahrachelle commented on aspiringballerina's journal I can't do it

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  Journal Comment

  Posted by: mariahrachelle

  Posted: 05/09/2017

  mariahrachelle commented on aspiringballerina's journal So nervous

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  Journal Comment

  Posted by: mariahrachelle

  Posted: 05/04/2017

  mariahrachelle commented on aspiringballerina's journal Regressing

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  Journal Like

  Posted by: mariahrachelle

  Posted: 05/03/2017

  mariahrachelle liked mariahrachelle's journal Time.

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  Time

  Posted by: mariahrachelle

  Posted: 05/02/2017

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  It has been a long time, well like a few weeks, since I have been on here. A big part of that is because I don't have an eating disorder, I just use food as a coping mechanism. I don't like coming on here because it means facing my feelings and thoughts towards food and I'd rather just ignore it and see where it takes me.It's embarrassing because I feel like I have a problem, and then there are weeks where I'll binge and think "wow what the heck, I don't even have an issue. If anything I'm...

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  Hug

  Posted by: mariahrachelle

  Posted: 05/02/2017

  mariahrachelle sent a hug to aspiringballerina
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  Idk

  Posted by: mariahrachelle

  Posted: 04/09/2017

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  These last couple of days have been really weird. I'm not sure how to describe it. It feels surreal. I don't feel alive. I feel like a ghost. It's weird and difficult to put into words.Today my friend expressed concern for me. She expressed to me that she is concerned for me because I have lost weight and she was emotional as she was talking. I am so grateful she expressed it to me, but I wish it made me want to change. I wish it made me want to be better.I don't like to talk to people about...

• Eating Disorders
  

  Discussion Like

  Posted by: mariahrachelle

  Posted: 04/07/2017

  mariahrachelle liked the discussion Thank you, group members.

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  Today

  Posted by: mariahrachelle

  Posted: 04/07/2017

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  The last couple of days have been hard. I feel really... distant this morning. Distracted. Unfocused.I re-downloaded my food intake app.I weighed myself. I don't own a scale because I don't want to be constantly consumed with weight, but I'm house sitting for a family and they have a scale.I wasn't overweight last summer, but I definitely looked a little more on the thick side. I've lost close to 15 pounds since last summer, or whenever I weighed myself last year. I don't want to become...

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  Okay

  Posted by: mariahrachelle

  Posted: 04/05/2017

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  Just under two hours and I am okay now. Obviously not magically better, but I am okay. I just spent some time praying and reading and I am comforted by Jesus.I will take care of myself. Even if I look at my arm and desire for my fat to melt away and bones to appear, I will not chase that. Even if I look at my stomach and wish I were able to make my fat disappear, I will not strive for that. My existence in this life is not just to be pretty and skinny.This is hard, but by God's strength I will...