Today

The last couple of days have been hard. I feel really... distant this morning. Distracted. Unfocused.

I re-downloaded my food intake app.

I weighed myself. I don't own a scale because I don't want to be constantly consumed with weight, but I'm house sitting for a family and they have a scale.

I wasn't overweight last summer, but I definitely looked a little more on the thick side. I've lost close to 15 pounds since last summer, or whenever I weighed myself last year. I don't want to become fixated on a number, but it feels really good to see I've lost actual pounds. It's more difficult to not want to work towards a specific number. I don't want to be consumed.

I'm just not feeling well this morning. I'm tired. I want to isolate. I'm discouraged because I started the week off strong and I'm back to not wanting to eat again. I think I expected to be automatically better or something.

Maybe I'll eat later, but right now I can't. I made a piece of toast this morning and I bit into it and decided I didn't want it and threw it away.

Perspective: everyone has bad days. I guess it's okay to have bad days.