Sophia2002

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New places

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I went to China. It’s the first time I’ve traveled outside the US. It was amazing. It was refreshing to step out of the daily routine. To go somewhere where people can’t really talk to you, because you don’t speak the same language. I went...
Forget treading water I’m under it

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have you seen the picture of the girl in a room and the room is filled with water and she’s just there underwater. Just exsisting not swimming or fighting?!! Yep that’s me. That imagine gallows me. I feel like I’m her under the water. The...
What is this?!?!

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feeling blue, nothing new...its been over a year, really the first year was a blur. Perhaps it was from all of the tears. Crying most days and very zombie like other days. This year sucks, maybe because i’ve Finally figured out how to cry away...
Comparisons

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im getting close to the anniversary and I can feel it. I feel the tension. I feel the anticipation. I feel more irritated lately. Things are bothering me, so that leads me to this. I'm so good at biting my tongue until I just can't anymore. I hate...
Goals...ugh!!

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I'm so frustrated! I lost my husband 9mo ago. I'm functioning as in I go to work just about everyday, the kids are back in school, the house it some what clean, and there is food on the table. These are huge and hard accomplishments. It's that...
Seeing things

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So just this past weekend I was walking in the back yard and out of the corner of my eye I swear I saw blue and connected it to my husband. The feeling was so strange. It startled me first then I thought it was him for a second. Of course when I...
6 months ago

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its been six months since he's been gone. It's hard to believe it's been that long. It seems like yesterday. Yet, it feels like forever. I walked to my car alone in the dark the other night and even though I have teenagers at home, I realized if...
Wondering through life

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Tomorrow is four months. I'm trying to give myself credit for keeping the house picked up, getting the kids to school, going to work, but the truth is I feel like a zombie. I feel like I'm going through the motions, but at a slow pace and everyone...
All the other stuff

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it feels overwhelming lately, all the other paperwork stuff that is left to do, but in a way I just don't want to do it. I know it needs to be done but my willingness to get it done does not make me want to actually get it done. If that makes sense....
Clumsy...

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So after two months I go back to work this week. I have a half marathon in February that was planned before my life turned to ... whatever. I swear I'm trying, but it's so challenging. Anyways at the end of my 3 mile run with my sister I fell. Not...
Goodbye 2016, I'm not excited to see you go.

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My husband has been gone for almost 7 weeks. We were just on a trip, we had just spent a beautiful day together, we had just watched our daughter sing in the choir performance, the night before I had just told him how much I loved him and how good...

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