You are still in that fog of shock. I know I was for at least the first year. Now almost 3 yrs later I feel as though my life is still in limbo. I don't know how to construcfully structure my life. I do know that being home 24/7 doesn't help. When I can get on a routine it works alot better. Try to keep your routine it will eventually get better.

There is no rule book, or time schedule to get through this difficult grieving process. Don't be so hard on yourself. Look back to a month ago, or a couple of months ago, and then realize how far you've come. What you're going through is normal and expected.

Good for you for taking the time off for yourself. and don't sell yourself short. Just getting up everyday is a small victory. I've caught myself in zombie mode too. It sucks but just trying different things might help. I thinking of taking yoga to relax and try to clear my head. Stay strong

I too am approaching my 4 month period.i have been staying at my daughter's home out of state, haven't been home since my husband's death.I soon to go home the 1st of April,an I am pretty nervous to say the least about living there . I am retired (62) an you would think by know I could handle this but I am still doing the what ifs. I cry every morning an every night.I hate this journey through life. I have joined the YMCA to swim that gets me out, I also have joined a breament group an that showes me other people are also going through this. Keep your self busy but not too busy. I have also found reading books on breament an griveing help me I also have had signs that my husband is still with me.Anything that seems to help you move forward,because I want to get better an enjoy want life I have left.

Hi Sophia. I definitely give you credit for keeping the house picked up, getting the kids to school and going to work. It's really hard to do "normal" stuff when your heart is broken. Four months is still very early on. I hope you feel better soon.

Sylvia

Sophia, it is beyond me how parents of young children are able to grieve and care for others at the same time. But the answer is so simple. It is by love and love is the most powerful force in the universe. Remember, you've got to take care of yourself. Your children need you. I know first hand how paralyzing grief can be when it just keeps going from bad to worse. But I had only myself and could not draw on the inner strength you have for that very reason. Its okay to rest. ~~~ Scottie

Sophia2002, Going through what we all are and you are caring and taking care of your kids at the same time. You are so amazing. I have a duaghter who lives at home and I always try to stay strong when im around her but i private I continue to grieve. Its hard but it also helps to be around daughter and try to do the things that her and her mother ddid together.

Hi,
I lost my husband almost 5 months ago. I have kids but I haven't been the best mom as of late. My husband owned his own business and I worked with him, therefore, I have no job to go to and no reason to leave the house. I cry every day, wonder what I could have done different. I don't know if I'm broken, normal, or in need of help.

My husband died five weeks ago and I have not kept up my house or showered much or left the house except to grocery shop. I watched a lot of tv (night and day) but now find that I can no longer escape into the TV. All I do is cry so even tho you feel like a zombie give yourself a lot of credit for keeping things going. You will find your new normal and find a way thru your pain. Your ability to not fall apart will serve you well. My best wishes go to you as you move forward in you new life.

Thank you for the kind words and thoughts. Turns out it was for the best. My two younger kids were having a. As week as well. My daughter (youngest) stayed home with me on Thursday. It was good. I'm not feeling much better this week. But I'm pushing through what I can.

I lost my husband one year, 9 months, and 8 days ago. I'm actually in a new relationship, things have been on the up and up.... except for the past two weeks. My house is a mess, my daughter isn't sure what's up, and I just can't return texts or calls. I might call off work tomorrow.

My point is no matter your growth, no matter the time that passes or if you've started to "move on" there will always be days like these. Granted, my stagnancy stems from my in laws being cruel and hateful about me dating. Yours probably stems from it being so fresh. Might stem from other factors, too. Life is hard. It's even more difficult when dealing with the tragedy of losing your spouse. Give yourself credit and "me time" ❤

Being slightly less than 4 months into the grieving process myself, I can totally relate to how you are feeling. As Gatormom says there is no rule book or time schedule for grieving & there will always be bad periods as Leighs-me points out. However, the wondering through life/zombie feeling does lessen. I, like Veijo, have found comfort in joining a local Y or community center to keep busy &/or a bereavement group to experience the love & support of others going thru this difficult time as well. Also, give yourself a lot credit for doing all that you are; as well as the grace & room to grieve in private.