Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
it feels overwhelming lately, all the other paperwork stuff that is left to do, but in a way I just don't want to do it. I know it needs to be done but my willingness to get it done does not make me want to actually get it done. If that makes sense. My hubby died while at work so there is the waiting on police report 3 months later, which is waiting on the medical examiner report, which is holding up the worker's Comp report, which somehow equals holding things up. I could pull my hair out trying to figure all this stuff out. I just want to crawl under the covers and not come out. I just want to talk about my hubby. I want to express how much I loved him and how much I miss him. I can't :( no o e wants to listen. Oh some try to others sneak away from the conversations. I should just write it down. That might help, but I don't have the energy. Instead I try to make some work goals, resume some normalcy so other people feel better. I rwally thing that's why I show up at work and pretend to be normal/ fine. Deep down I hate this! I resent them for getting to live the same life day I. And day out that I feel I didn't appreciate enough when I had it.
I got talking with co- workers about silly stuff tonight. None of my kids texted to question when I was leaving If I was even 5 minutes late my hubby would have checked on me. That's gone. Ugh. I just want to scream. THIS IS NOT OK. IM NOT OK. UGH!!!!
On the paperwork, my husband retired from the military. It took me almost a full year to get everything done from probate to notifying all of the depts. at DFAS of his death, paperwork, I.D, not to mention all of the changes on your monthly bills or loans etc.
But I will tell you it helped me learn all that I needed to know and get corrected so I can make my own preparations later in my life too. It kept me busy enough to help pass some of each day taking care of these things. There's a lot to do, some of us have more than others but you need to do it.
Just read the paperwork, look up phone numbers and begin. You know it must be done, go ahead it will help you have this do now while the pain is at it's very worst and the shock is still imbedded.
I never asked for any help, I did it on my own. The only thing my family was involved with when they went with me to the mortuary and I am glad for them being there for me.
I wish you the best.
Return to complete more, give yourself credit for what you accomplish .
It's little steps...
We all need time to grieve
We each grieve in our own unique way
Ups, downs
It levels out but it takes time...
Blessings
jdp