feeling blue, nothing new...
its been over a year, really the first year was a blur. Perhaps it was from all of the tears. Crying most days and very zombie like other days.
This year sucks, maybe because i’ve Finally figured out how to cry away from everyone. On the way to work, I. The middle of the night, just before dawn... no one is around anymore. It felt like they left after a month, but really they would at least check in. Now I’m old news, no one really checks in anymore. Everything feels forgotten and I’m left here shattered into pieces. Which way is up? I don’t even know anymore.
I feel even more alone this year. The teenagers are back to there rooms talking to friends. Not even pretending to offer company anymore. Ah just venting, I’m sure people I normally talk to are tired of hearing my same complaints.
Hi I have been seeing a 60 year old widower (DOD 5 yrs)as a companion for over a year. We have been doing pretty good taking it slow. We have been to weddings,funerals,numerous family parties,holidays together. So several weeks ago he doesn't remember my birthday. I am hurt but not going to make a big deal of it. We have a graduation party ,his sister,daughters and I are discussing birthdays....
In this stage of my life, I am wondering why men cannot seem to establish friendships with women first before going into a serious relationship. Seems like that would be the way to go. You could get to know each other without the pressures. I don't feel I have time to waste on bad or wrong relationships.