Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Sophia2002 02/07/2018

feeling blue, nothing new...

its been over a year, really the first year was a blur. Perhaps it was from all of the tears. Crying most days and very zombie like other days.

This year sucks, maybe because i’ve Finally figured out how to cry away from everyone. On the way to work, I. The middle of the night, just before dawn... no one is around anymore. It felt like they left after a month, but really they would at least check in. Now I’m old news, no one really checks in anymore. Everything feels forgotten and I’m left here shattered into pieces. Which way is up? I don’t even know anymore.

I feel even more alone this year. The teenagers are back to there rooms talking to friends. Not even pretending to offer company anymore. Ah just venting, I’m sure people I normally talk to are tired of hearing my same complaints.

Rick51 02/07/2018

Sorry for your loss, and lack of support. Just when I was hoping it would get better.

shewearsblack17 02/08/2018

Girl, you said it. No one checks in on us any more. It's been over a year for me as well. It would seem that, if not for me, they could do this on his behalf. If I didn't have the one close girlfriend here, I just would not be able to handle things. We got together for a few hours today and had some good laughs. As we were leaving one store, the cashier said, "Thanks for coming in," and I said, "You too." Too much solitary confinement makes me a bit crazy. I thought she had told me to have a nice day. My mind gets ferhoodled sometimes. Which way is up? I'm not the one to ask. Welcome to Widville.

michellebrand 02/08/2018

I deal with it too... Like am I not supposed to still be sad? Just because I'm in bed with another man I'm not "over it" ... That sounds harsh... But it's true. I still miss him every day... I still hear songs, smells, flowers, dragonflies... He has left the earth. . I miss his family.... No one ever asks about him or my loss.... Its like yesterday's news...

cupolatte 02/09/2018

Hi Sophia, I am so sorry for what you are going through. It is disheartening. Except for a few close friends, people stopped the check ins with me too. Slowly I stopped getting invitations to dinners and parties that involved the couples who were our friends. I wasn't a couple anymore. I didn't feel single either. I didn't know what I was. I know I wasn't fun anymore. Honestly, I didn't feel like fun and dinners and parties, but I resented the people who did. The thing is, no one who hasn't been through this realizes how deep the devastation is or how long it takes to find the new way of living. They aren't in it for the long haul, because they have the choice not to be. You don't have that choice. It does get better. I promise, but not after only one year. You must walk through this first. I will be praying for you to make it through this next season. I will also ask God to give you a good friend who understands and has walked the path you are now walking.

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