Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Forget treading water I’m under it

Sophia2002
Sophia2002

have you seen the picture of the girl in a room and the room is filled with water and she’s just there underwater. Just exsisting not swimming or fighting?!!  Yep that’s me.  That imagine gallows me. I feel like I’m her under the water. The weight pressing on me, yet you feel like your floating at the same time. If you scream no one would hear so why bother. 


I’m so frustrated. I’m tired of being sad. I’m tired of crying. I’m tired of hanging out with people. I hate I’m alone. I hate that he’s gone. I hate going to work. I hate feeling like I’m failing at everything. 


I want to run away. I want to hide at home. I’m probably so conflicted I don’t really know what I want. 


exploringgrief
exploringgrief
Oh sweetie. Hang in there. How long has it been since you lost him?
Momster18
Momster18
A dear friend of mine lost her husband 10 months before I lost mine. We always keep reminding each other to keep swimming. It is so tempting to just sink, but after living without my darling Doug for the past 18 months, I live with a sinking feeling everyday. However, I find there are things to be grateful for and decide to keep swimming. Look very closely, you will find signs and reasons to keep swimming. Love yourself and take care of your needs. We all need to have days where we just exist. Just keep swimming, my friend.
bayoured
bayoured
Your analogy is spot on for how this grief beast makes us feel. Hold on and reach out to anyone that will keep a float until you can do it on your own. My loss is still fairly new and the waters seem to consume me at times. Come here as often as you need to vent and share how you are feeling. There is always someone listening . You aren't alone.....
Sophia2002
Sophia2002
My husband has been gone just over 16 months. It was sudden, a car accident where he had passed out and no one else was hurt, thankfully. We were married 15 1/2 years. I’ve only been with him my whole adult life. He always saw me as so strong. He was like if something happened to me You’d be fine, but I wouldn’t. I don’t think he was right. The only time I feel normal is when I’m at home. Work is a fast pace technology company and I just don’t think I have the strength to keep up.

Thank you for the kind words. I know I have things to be grateful. I know I have theee teenagers to be here for. It’s just not the same and that’s a big pull to swallow.