AnxietyFreak40
Status: People in toxic relationships don’t love each other. They love the idea of each other. ~Mark Manson
Mood:
Ok
Offline
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I had a whole journal page written here and lost it cause I am so stupid I hit the wrong button and there is no auto-draft on this site. Slightly anxious as I went to sleep last night...not enough...
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It's weds again....not that it means anything really...except that I have class and I get to be on my own for a few hours. I think he knows I have pulled back again...really been good since he...
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My sadness this morning is overwhelming. You would think that after all these years he and his true love(the silver bullet) would not be able to hurt my feelings...but I fall for it time and...
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Things turned out to be ok today. Whatever triggered yesterday has not repeated itself and although I feel very sad and lonely today I am not anxious. I have been cleaning most of the day...
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I woke to the sound of someone saying my name. no one was there. I thought maybe my boyfriend came in to wake me and tell me he decided to go to the cabin after all...but no one was there and he...
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WTF....So, it's been overall a pretty good week. I started class and I think I am really going to enjoy them without being overwhelmed. He didn't drink too much last night and we grabbed a quick...
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T G I F ...tired but it's a good tired...no anxiety ..at least not at this moment. I overslept again this morning...this staying up late is going to take some getting used to. Especially since I...
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Last night was my first class of the semester. I am always nervous about finding my class and feel like I'm going to chicken out and not go at the last minute but I made myself go and I am so...
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I wish I could say I thought this was shaping up to start of well but I'm afraid that's not going to happen. I already woke up kind of tired and worn out so having the eldest wake up early...on her...
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I actually feel pretty good this morning. Maybe I got the whole anxiety attack out of the way on thurs. lol Sitting here hoping the sun comes out soon. Feel like I can actually get my ass in gear...
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It figures. I totally brought this one on myself. I have been on edge all week..now faced with the weekend actually being here and the state of things with the boyfriends..yeah..should have...
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Finally, it's Thursday. Thurs is starting to feel like Friday since we are on half day Furlough. I guess it's too soon to say if this is any permanent progress but I feel this week as if...
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Not sure how to start today...woke up sick and very tired..of course...why not throw the bad dreams on top of everything else right? Not dreaming about him though..dreamed about me and my mom. I...
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Can't even breathe....don't even want to go home. I'm sure it will be fine tonight since the kids will be there...He will probably even be in a jolly mood and act as if nothing is wrong.
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It's going to be one of those days. I have so much going through my head I think I'm going to be sick...oh wait...I AM sick...that's why I'm here in the first place. Just gotta keep rambling...
dd