Sun Sept 4, 2011
I woke to the sound of someone saying my name. no one was there. I thought maybe my boyfriend came in to wake me and tell me he decided to go to the cabin after all...but no one was there and he was still sleeping.
Vague memories of bad dreams..enough to know they were bad but not enough to actually put details into thought. Thought I was going to start the day in a panic but I realized it was probably from what I was dreaming and then it passed.
Of course, the day is young....after all...yesterday started out so well and then out of the blue it started. I am such a pathetic creature. I realize that is why I stay with the alcoholi boyfriend...who else is going to want something like me?
Maybe if I was younger but even then as my ex husband told me...being only half a woman doesn't make me good for much especially since I don't cook very well.
You would think with all my anxiety and the need to burn off the adrenaline that I could at least channel that into having a clean house but I don't even do that very well. What a waste.
Vague memories of bad dreams..enough to know they were bad but not enough to actually put details into thought. Thought I was going to start the day in a panic but I realized it was probably from what I was dreaming and then it passed.
Of course, the day is young....after all...yesterday started out so well and then out of the blue it started. I am such a pathetic creature. I realize that is why I stay with the alcoholi boyfriend...who else is going to want something like me?
Maybe if I was younger but even then as my ex husband told me...being only half a woman doesn't make me good for much especially since I don't cook very well.
You would think with all my anxiety and the need to burn off the adrenaline that I could at least channel that into having a clean house but I don't even do that very well. What a waste.
Replies
Don\'t beat yourself up, gosh it hurts just to read this. I know it is easier to say than do. Gosh it so easy to think those things and just tear up. You are not alone good days happen, then at the end of the day you\'re worse off than the morning, but just don\'t do the bad thinking. My boyfriend is not the best friend I thought I should have either. I really want to break up with him, but I am too scared to too. I can cook, although I am still learning, but with panic and anxiety right now I don\'t think I could even manage making a ham sandwich right you know. And you know that is sad, but also think of it Kinda FUNNY. If you end up with a mess just look at it and laugh. Because it is nothing to cry about. Just turn it into a laugh, don\'t go to tears pelase. Take a picture and maybe post it. IDK. It is normal as I have read for us to go through this, it will make us stronger. Glad to have you on this website. Have a better day. XOXOXOXo