Perhaps ridiculous was an overstatement. But lately, it's just felt ridiculous.

I did a lot better today. Who know if it was because I was trying less..

Sorry to hear you are feeling overwhelmed. Sometimes things just pile up and get to be too much. I hope you can try to get some enjoyment out of the holiday season despite the difficulties and have some support with all the responsibilities you have to deal with.

I'm sorry sam :( sounds like a lot to deal with, especially during the holiday seasons. sending lots of love your way and hoping the best for you - glad you did better today :)

Thanks Manda. I have my lovely husband and his family, I'm very thankful for that.

Thanks j. Your support means a lot.

Well it's going to be very challenging today, to say the least! But luckily I can escape if it all gets too much. I'm going to try to keep my hands down, stay calm, and breathe.

Yes, yes, yes.

Am feeling better about not focusing on how many I've pulled. I have definitely pulled a few today but I've stopped after one each time (except once I pulled 2). I'm noticing pain for the first time. Normally when I pull all I feel is pleasure. But now, I'm noticing the pain behind the pleasure. Weird huh? Normally the success of a pull, the gratification, creates the pleasure and covers up the pain. Hm.

I've been breathing deeply a lot, which is what I did A LOT during my very long pull free-a-thon.

And today was a good day rather than a crap one, so hooray!

The type of mediation that I was taught is the one where you focus on your breath. If you fins yourself thinking, that's ok, just gently remind yourself to go back to focusing on your breath.

I had an epiphany! I need to apply this to pulling. If I find myself playing/pulling, I just need to gently remind myself to put my hand down and focus on my breathing. Over time the awareness/habit should built naturally. I'm tried it today and I'm liking it :)

Glad that the deep breathing technique is working for you! The meditation sounds like it is helping a lot with getting through a stressful time. Keep at it!

Keep your hands busy! The pain of pulling I've always had, so I know the weirdness you mentioned.

Turns out that finding the pain may be a clue to how your trich is setting its pattern. I drew a diagram of my body and scalp and found the spots, marked them off, then went to the nervous system to find how the nerves connected. Found the one that seems to be the trouble maker, and soothing it.

Breathing technique, awesome! Impressive when it works effectively!

You're strong!

Wow so many spelling and grammar issues with my last post! darn iPhone.

Thanks Manda. It's great, really. It's just brings a feeling of calm. Instead of being annoyed I've ruined a of streak or accidentally pulled one I just say "ok, that happened, now just focus on breathing for a little bit". Thereby removing the critical part of the cycle - guilt/shame.

Thanks Mid, that's a great idea. Ive read that the reason we don't generally feel pain when we pull is because the pleasure caused by the brain achieving it's "reward" hides it. We are focusing on the relief so much we don't feel the pain. I'm really trying to notice the pain, and focus on the overall unpleasantness of the act.

Crazy, I never even thought pulling out hair was supposed to hurt. If I pull out a lot from one spot, I've noticed that it feels sore the next day, but I've never felt pain after the actual pull. Sounds like a good strategy to remove the pleasure from pulling.

Well most people with trich don't feel pain when they pull. Whether it's for the reason I stated or something else, who knows.. But I know there's some places I definitely feel pain when I pull. In fact more areas than not. Everywhere except my head I feel pain from pulling. And the back and bottom of my head, everywhere except my crown and hairline, I feel pain when I pull. But after really focusing on it lately, even from the good spots, unless the hair is very loose, I notice a tiny bit of pain. It's cool!

I only pull from my scalp. I feel pain if I pull hair from anywhere else (like tweezing my eyebrows...ouch), but I always just thought the scalp was less sensitive. I guess it makes sense that pulling out hair should hurt. I do feel some physical sensation beyond the mental relief, but I wouldn't call it pain.

So no matter where you pull on your scalp, it doesn't hurt?

For me pulling on the back of my scalp down the bottom is just as painful as pulling out my eyebrows.

I didn't pull much yesterday, so that's nice! And today, it's 3pm and I'm pull free so far. I've reminded myself not to pull at least 8 times. I don't want to hope just yet. I'm just being calm and reminding myself to keep my hands down.