passionatewriter

Activity

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  In the ER / hosipital still - 11 / 4

  Posted by: passionatewriter

  Posted: 11/04/2019

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  I've been in here for a little bit over ONE week so far. .... BUT... now there's talk of Discharging me Either HOME - With home health care, and home wound care - OR to a Physical Rehab Care Center for a SHORT TERM stay... HOPEFULLY - GOD willing ONLY until about December 15 th, or so. I couldn't be in a Rehab any longer than that and STILL keep the apartment with no financial difficulties..... and BESIDES I would NEED to be OUT of anywhere I'm at so I can be completely FREE to search for a...

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  He's the ONLY ONE in PAIN ?!?!?!

  Posted by: passionatewriter

  Posted: 10/01/2019

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  Well, I guess according to his way of thinking, he's the only one in any pain right now ! At least he's the ONLY one in any pain that counts ! Just a about 40 mins. ago he was taking his meds - ibuprofen and anti-biotics, and I was sitting here in my recliner chair minding my own business - and being as quiet as a church mouse !   I was as quiet as I possibly could be - the entire time - except for one very brief moment when because of the chest congestion I've had lately, I had to make ONE -...

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  I can't take this anymore

  Posted by: passionatewriter

  Posted: 09/10/2019

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  For the last few days - today is 9 / 10  /  19 1:13 AM in the morning --- He's been doing everything he possibly can to BREAK ME ! He's called me EVERY insult he can possibly imagine ! ... and then some ! And even then.. he'll just REPEAT everything OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN ! It doesn't even seem to matter to him when I do my very best to ignore him, and not even reply, or respond to him in any form at all ! In fact, sometimes it seems like the more I don't respond to him - the more...

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  He has NO sense of humanity.. ONLY cruelty

  Posted by: passionatewriter

  Posted: 08/23/2019

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  I was sound asleep.... it's around 1 AM in the morning... so what does HE do ? He suddenly calls one of his Toledo, Ohio Friends, and start a " LOUD " conversation with them in the bedroom ! He makes sure that he's talking to his " friend " just loud enough to not be considered " too loud " for everyone else in the building, but just loud enough to get my attention and be loud enough that I can hear what he's talking about ! 

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  Well, looking at Moving as a definite happening within about a year - or less...

  Posted by: passionatewriter

  Posted: 08/20/2019

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  More and more with each passing day I become more certain that moving out of this apartment complex is going to be something that's completely unavoidable. Oh sure... IF Ray had stuck to what I know he had " promised me " at first, then I wouldn't be having these thoughts floating around in my head right now. I'd feel at least secure in the fact that with Ray's help, no matter what the 2020 monthly total rental charges turned out to be, that together WE would deal with it. But Ray has already...

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  Here's to hoping that He'll stay ASLEEP ALL DAY LONG !!!!!

  Posted by: passionatewriter

  Posted: 07/24/2019

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  At least while he's asleep I have a certain degree of " peace " here in my apartment. Any other time, as long as he's awake and talking then there's bound to be some sort of bullshit pouring out of his mouth at me ! He can't seem to control himself from doing this, and frankly never appears to even make an attempt at stopping himself ! Anytime when I've told him " point blank " how much his cold, and cruel, words hurt me to my very core, I always get the same reply. He'll always say, " I...

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  6:20 AM.... Bright LIGHT switched ON !

  Posted by: passionatewriter

  Posted: 07/23/2019

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  After I had just finished telling him why I was struggling ALL night long TRYING to sleep.... He gets ANGRY at me for it... and flips the light switch on the dinning room wall on ! ... So the Brightest light in the kitchen is shinning right in my eyes ! I'm forced to get UP out of my recliner chair to turn it off, so I can TRY to get a couple of hours rest, or so, before I have to be up for meals on wheels ! HOW can he do that to me ? HOW can he do something like that, and STILL claim to "...

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  Another day of double standards, cruel jokes, and criticisms

  Posted by: passionatewriter

  Posted: 07/20/2019

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  I don't know how much more of this that I can take.I never claimed to be more than human. I never once said that to him.Besides, he has no right to expect me to be " more than human " . Today I had to listen to him go " on and on... and on " again about how he doesn't feel good ! HAHAHAHAHA !!!!I've been sick for about 3 weeks.... and I get criticized for it..... yelled at .... and threatened every time I have to cough ! PLUS.... I hear the same bullshit over and over again... that I'm "...

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  I can NEVER EVER WIN with HIM !!!!!!

  Posted by: passionatewriter

  Posted: 07/18/2019

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  It doesn't matter WHAT I say to him ! If I'm completely honest he never appreciates that fact, and it backfires on me. If I try to stay quiet, and I hold what I'm thinking inside then he gets annoyed because I'm obviously holding back on purpose.... so THAT " backfires " on me ! .... Even if I get creative and try a combination of the two of these options, it still doesn't work since he never truly listens to me. It never matters WHAT I say to him, because he hears WHAT he wants to hear ! Of...

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  Today " just joking " he let a comment slip, but was it really how he's feeling ?!

  Posted by: passionatewriter

  Posted: 07/09/2019

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  I asked him if he was " trying to tell me something " when he made a strange comment about .... " what would you do if you got home from an appointment, and I wasn't here.... and a bunch of " things - meaning HIS things " were gone ?! " ???? .... Now WHY would he say something that cold and hateful, if it wasn't something that he's been thinking about doing ?!?! I think I know him well enough after all of this time to know how his mind works. He doesn't just randomly make a comment without it...

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  Dreams on hold... yet again... because of him

  Posted by: passionatewriter

  Posted: 07/08/2019

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  I should have guessed this would happen yet again. Once again my dreams will have to be put " on the back burner " because his dreams come first ! As ALWAYS ! Since he had to have a TV in the bedroom for his video games, and to watch dvds that he likes - but I don't, he insisted on buying a tv this month ( July 2019 ). What I can't get over is how he acts like it's such a HUGE DEAL that he paid for the tv out of " his money " ! How else should it have been when HE destroyed the previous tv...

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  He's getting HIS TV TODAY... finally.... so separate " video game " playing from now on... except DS

  Posted by: passionatewriter

  Posted: 07/03/2019

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  Today our neighbor Mark took Ray to go to the store to get some food, some household supplies, and most importantly the tv that he's been wanting to get for the bedroom for awhile ! Now once he gets back here with it, and sets it up, he'll be able to play video games in the bedroom pretty much " any time " without bothering me - and very importantly WITHOUT making life IMPOSSIBLE for me while he's playing video games ! Typically any time he plays those damn video games out here in the living...

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  First time in a VERY long time..... But....

  Posted by: passionatewriter

  Posted: 06/30/2019

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  Today - Sunday June 30 th - was the first time in a very long time that Him and I had done anything " intimate ". It was a very unexpected surprise to me for him to suddenly come up to me - asking me to come to the bedroom with him.... especially with the extremely unpredictable mood he's been in lately. Plus when I add all of the " supposed " jokes he says to me that he swears is just him " goofing around " - when in reality it sounds to me like very clear insults, and criticisms; how could I...

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  Quiet Day so far... Hope it stays that way...

  Posted by: passionatewriter

  Posted: 06/29/2019

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  It's the Saturday before the 4th of July, so I'm hoping that my neighbors don't act up this weekend. It doesn't bother me - not really, but for him it's a HUGE deal ! In his little bubble of reality everything is supposed to be absolutely PERFECT one-hundred percent of the time ! I've tried many times to calmly reason with him about this, but he never truly listens to me. Anyone with any true common sense knows that LIFE is not always a " bed of roses ". That's simply NOT reality ! Plus, he...

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  One HELL of a Day and it's not over yet !!!

  Posted by: passionatewriter

  Posted: 06/28/2019

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  It's 5:12 pm, and he's taking a nap - before dinnertime - right now. I hope that it turns out to be a long one. I really don't care when we eat dinner. I just want some time by myself... some REAL peace, and quiet. It's been a HELL of a day ! A Spectrum repair tech came by this morning to check out our internet, cable tv, and home phone services, since yesterday they ALL went out 3 times - then after the 3 rd time, it didn't come back on.... that is, until later in the day when ALL 3 suddenly...