I can NEVER EVER WIN with HIM !!!!!!

It doesn't matter WHAT I say to him ! If I'm completely honest he never appreciates that fact, and it backfires on me. If I try to stay quiet, and I hold what I'm thinking inside then he gets annoyed because I'm obviously holding back on purpose.... so THAT " backfires " on me ! .... Even if I get creative and try a combination of the two of these options, it still doesn't work since he never truly listens to me. 

It never matters WHAT I say to him, because he hears WHAT he wants to hear ! 

Of course when I try to calmly explain to him that he's not listening to to me.... that I didn't say that.... then he'll INSIST that he's RIGHT... I'M WRONG... and I'M A LYING BITCH FOR BACK TALKING TO HIM.... AND I NEED TO SHUT THE HELL UP, STOP BACK TALKING, OR HE'LL BEAT ME " BLOODY " ! ---- HIS EXACT WORDS PRETTY MUCH !!!!!!.... ESPECIALLY THE " BEAT ME " BLOODY " PART ! " 

So... tell me... WHAT THE HELL IS A PERSON SUPPOSED TO DO ??!?!?!?!?!?

I can't talk to him.... he won't listen.... and if he " supposedly " listens, he's not truly listening ! 

I can't live like this ... I can't .. I just can't ! 

I'm only human ! 

Sure, I need the " extra " financially " help to pay my monthly bills, but at this point I'd almost rather be living in a box in the woods, than living like this ! 

I've got to figure out a way to be able to afford my monthly expenses completely on my own --- especially as far as paying the bills - rent, electric, and phone/ internet , online.

I've GOT TO figure a way to have " some sort of " internet service that I can afford on my own so I can continue to pay my monthly bills on my own. There's GOT TO BE A WAY !