Dreams on hold... yet again... because of him

I should have guessed this would happen yet again. 

Once again my dreams will have to be put " on the back burner " because his dreams come first ! As ALWAYS ! 

Since he had to have a TV in the bedroom for his video games, and to watch dvds that he likes - but I don't, he insisted on buying a tv this month ( July 2019 ). What I can't get over is how he acts like it's such a HUGE DEAL that he paid for the tv out of " his money " ! 

How else should it have been when HE destroyed the previous tv ! 

It doesn't matter one damn bit that the previous tv was old. That's not the point ! Not at all ! 

The point is that if he hadn't gotten so damn impatient with the old tv, we could have spent maybe 25 / 30 bucks on a new universal remote for it instead..... potentially fixing the problems with it ! But oh hell no ! 

Asking him to be " patient " would be like trying to make a 2 year old wait to open their Christmas presents until everyone is awake Christmas morning ! It just DOES NOT WORK ! 

I'm convinced that at least 8 to sometimes 9 times out of 10, he has no clue what it means to be patient ! Not a damn clue ! 

Of course you've got to ADD to that... no clue what being truly compassionate, considerate, and caring means ! 

I was caught very off guard when he started to get all " huffy " while we were watching the movie " Into the Woods " this afternoon, and he told me the reason was ME ! He didn't have to explain what he meant by that one word - said with pure hatred, because I knew he meant it was because of my nagging cough ! 

He knows damn well that I can't control my coughing right now ! 

PLUS I've even tried many times to explain that when I do TRY to control my coughing, that sometimes that actually makes me cough MORE ! But he always seems to convieniently forget that ! 

Of course if the " shoe was on the other foot ", and it was him with a nagging cough, he would expect me to be pouring out tons and tons of sympathy all over him ! If I didn't, then it'd be a safe bet that he'd be pouting like a todler, and he would act like his feelings were hurt ! ..... But.. IF I dare stand up to him, and stand up for my rights, then I'm a bitch.... and every other name he can think of to call me, as well as he would be yelling at me to " SHUT UP ! "

I'm so so sick of his damn constant DOUBLE STANDARD that he applies to EVERYTHING in our lives ! Literally EVERYTHING ! 

If I showed him as little respect as he shows me I would NEVER hear the end of it ! 

I'd be the biggest bitch that ever lived if I dared to do that ! 

As far as the TV in the bedroom thing goes, I suppose I should be thankful that he wants to do that. 

At least it's one way for me to get some " peace " - some of the time. Of course it depends a bit on IF he actually puts the TV in the bedroom on a " reasonable " volume level, or not. He's said that when it's seemed extremely LOUD to me, that he's ONLY had it on a 20 level ! Only 20 ?! .... IF that was ONLY 20, then he'll need to start making it a habit to back it down to at least 15, or maybe even 13 ! I hope that he'll do that... for my hearing, and my sanity's sake ! 

This afternoon - Monday July 8 th, 2019 - he's been in the bedroom for awhile - supposedly taking a nap. I probably should have taken a nap out here while he was doing the same in there, but I've had just WAY too many things on my mind lately ! Besides, with this stupid nagging cough it's almost impossible to sleep ! 

I'm just hopeful that skipping an afternoon nap will help me as far as getting some " real sleep " tonight ! I hope !