Today " just joking " he let a comment slip, but was it really how he's feeling ?!

I asked him if he was " trying to tell me something " when he made a strange comment about .... " what would you do if you got home from an appointment, and I wasn't here.... and a bunch of " things - meaning HIS things " were gone ?! " ???? .... 

Now WHY would he say something that cold and hateful, if it wasn't something that he's been thinking about doing ?!?! 

I think I know him well enough after all of this time to know how his mind works. He doesn't just randomly make a comment without it having some kind of hidden meaning ! That's simply how his mind operates. 

Of course when I asked him point blank about the comment, he completely denied it. 

But... also... just like my past experiences with him, he's proven that he would do almost ANYTHING to cover up when he decides he's going to leave me ! As ODD as it is considering how unpredicatable his RAGE is, he doesn't like confrontation. 

Strange for someone that goes around threatening the person that they supposedly " love " with physical violence, on almost a daily basis ! ... for NO GOOD REASON ! .. NOT that there EVER is a GOOD REASON ! 

Just TODAY - Tuesday June 9 th, 2019..... He said that He ALWAYS has to THREATEN to BEAT ME... and SCREAM AT ME.... to get me to do ANYTHING ! .... That is such a BULLSHIT statement I'm not even sure where to begin ! 

For ONE.... He's NOT my Dad... He has NO business even beginning to think that it's " OKAY " for him to SCREAM DEMANDS at Me every time he decides there's a household chore I should do.... RIGHT THEN ! ( Of course it's ALWAYS on HIS SCHEDULE.... it NEVER counts that I'll do whatever it is, BUT on MY SCHEDULE ! ) ... IF it's NOT done EXACTLY when HE SAYS it MUST be done... then it doesn't count ! 

That's pure BULLSHIT ! 

AND... there's the OTHER thing he's not thinking about at all..... SCREAMING AT ME, AND THREATENING ME, IS NOT " GETTING ME " TO DO WHAT HE WANTS ME TO DO - ( ON THE SURFACE SURE, BUT... )... WHAT IT'S TRULY DOING IS MAKING ME " HATE HIM " MORE AND MORE AND MORE.... EVERY TIME HE YELLS AND SCREAMS AT ME THAT WAY ! .... ESPECIALLY WHEN HE PHYSICALLY HURTS ME AS PART OF HIS SO-CALLED WAY TO GET ME TO DO WHAT HE WANTS ME TO DO !!!!! 

But, I guess the thing is.... none of this really matters since he doesn't give a damn how I feel about ANYTHING ! ... NOT ONE DAMN BIT ! HE SHOWS ME NO RESPECT... NO TRUE CARING... NO COMPASSION.. NO UNDERSTANDING... NO KINDNESS... NO NOTHING !