M3NTALLYLOST

I know it has been awhile … but I’m still here… still alive…still have some hope in a very small sliver. The last few weeks has been rather exhausting between work being after me and self...

I have only gotten to page 13 paragraph 2 of my RAR and have written a ten page novel in my personal journal at home. I hand print in apx. size 5 font, front and back, so yes, it is a novel. To sum...

I got my step Mom to lie to my Dad and order RAR about two weeks ago and I got it on the 6th or 7th. She told him it was for a coworker because I live with my Aunt who stalks the mailbox, and I am...

I’m scared of going to work tonight. I have a meeting with upper level rank, they work 8am till 5pm and I work 11pm till 7am. I had to push my surgery back. I do not know if this meeting is a slap...

My life is in excessive turmoil at the moment each and every aspect. I am trying to take the view point of this is the largest collective set of test I have ever faced. I will take each test one at a...

SI-punishment-misery-self blame- are they all the same???So I'm sleeping and my aunt wakes me up when the kids do something she can't handle... seven year old boy pulls down my twelve year old girls...

I keep calling the anesthesiologist department at the hospital where my surgery will hopefully be, just to ask more questions. I think they know my voice now. The best thing in the world they could...

The Surgery – well I cannot move the bar backwards past zero, but I need to. When I got my tattoo last week I helped the artist put the dressing on and tape it. The next few days I had forgotten...

O.K. No more feet dragin' here... i'm goin' 8-11. I plan to leave in the wee hours of the morn' on the 8th. I'll be startin' from Fort Worth, Texas. Anyone near FtW and needs a lift let me know...

Where I am today? The holidays were rough, but I’m here. Doing the hard time alone IS me. I would ask for your forgiveness of not being on, but I chose not to spend it on Daily Strength. I made a...

I thought I posted this when I wrote it, but I did not, I wrote it Oct 3, 2009. I am off this week from work, and I came into this week with a great somber hesitation edged with fear. This week one...

Among the depths of my dark alone, I long for a kiss from steel to soul . . . and I did not give in this time to see blood, just bruises. I wrote, had bad thoughts, had cyber relationships, stopped...

It is funny in someway I guess. I just noticed it’s happening again, another bad set of days, always around the military holidays. I am off this week like I subconsciously knew, or something. I...

I am well all. Thank you each and everyone for the hugs and such. I have not been on DS since the Wednesday my Aunt died, not even a peek as I have been known to do. This was something I could only...