M3NTALLYLOST

My Aunt died today Wednesday, May 20, 2009 at 1251, in her own home. She was born November 28, 1933. I am happy for her, and mad at myself. I knew before the RAR weekend she was done on earth, I was...

I know I went from 15% to 25% and from months to one day. Why up in the progress? It was not due to an emotional episode, it was due to habit. I had an ingrown toenail catch on the sheet in bed and...

I wanted to change my avatar to "There is another world, there is a better world... there must be" but I could not crop it right, I added it to my photos. So here's my tiger still a bit shy, looking...

Wow its been over a month I’m OK I guess, well a lot better than a month ago, or way better than 8 months ago. I’ve been going to the same therapist every week for almost two months now. I really...

Update: My new therapist is awesome. She is the fifth one I have been to. She actually makes me mad from time to time, and that’s what I need. She has hit every point I want to bring up before I...

I have had a lot of stuff going on lately. My Son is going through a lot of testing on his G.I. system. We are trying to find the right medication mix on my Daughter is trying to break her arms and...

I just went over my entry from Jan 15 and realized it is almost the same as todays. I guess the dwelling over the same thoughts is on par for me, it is only a week.

I know it has been awhile … but I’m still here… still alive…still have some hope in a very small sliver. The last few weeks has been rather exhausting between work being after me and self...

I have only gotten to page 13 paragraph 2 of my RAR and have written a ten page novel in my personal journal at home. I hand print in apx. size 5 font, front and back, so yes, it is a novel. To sum...

I got my step Mom to lie to my Dad and order RAR about two weeks ago and I got it on the 6th or 7th. She told him it was for a coworker because I live with my Aunt who stalks the mailbox, and I am...

I’m scared of going to work tonight. I have a meeting with upper level rank, they work 8am till 5pm and I work 11pm till 7am. I had to push my surgery back. I do not know if this meeting is a slap...

My life is in excessive turmoil at the moment each and every aspect. I am trying to take the view point of this is the largest collective set of test I have ever faced. I will take each test one at a...

SI-punishment-misery-self blame- are they all the same???So I'm sleeping and my aunt wakes me up when the kids do something she can't handle... seven year old boy pulls down my twelve year old girls...

I keep calling the anesthesiologist department at the hospital where my surgery will hopefully be, just to ask more questions. I think they know my voice now. The best thing in the world they could...