MaryNOVA
Status: 1ST loss 17 weeks, Feb 2014, 2ND loss 5 weeks May 2015, 3RD...no heartbeat 8 weeks 5 days. Natural mc 11wks 4 days Aug 2015
Mood:
Ok
Offline
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8 weeks 5 days. 3rd us today. No heartbeat. How can this go wrong in so many ways?
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GraphicThat moment when you do the most romantic thing in the world - pee on a stick -- and it magically tells you that you can be the happiest woman in the world. you take pictures of your magic...
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I'm lying in my hotel room at my company's over the top Xmas party, my period is starting, and I'm so sad. This time last year I was six weeks pregnant. Passing that date when I first found out I...
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My due date is past. My first real period started right afterwards. The bleeding that hadn't stopped for 5+ months finally ended. I could tell the period was different, it was that old familiar...
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Just writing that title is bringing tears. I feel so lost. I feel like I have to start my life again now but I don't know how to move forward. I feel so endlessly alone. I love you, Hope.
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So DH goes on a golf weekend once a year. Some where off where the phone signals suck and the boys can go off and drink and smoke cigars without being disturbed. I've never had a problem with this....
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So I went to dinner with DH, MIL, and mom tonight. It was really nice and cheerful. So normal. We never mentioned the mc once. It was on my mind of course.... Tonight was really good. It felt almost...
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He was the first to bring up trying again! I didn't want to bring it up to him for a while yet because I couldn't take it if he weren't positive about it right now (our Angel was a surprise) when I...
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I was trying to share some feelings with DH tonight. Usually I'm quickly reduced to tears, but I wanted to really share thoughts.... I told him it was hard sometimes to see him being so ok-- not that...
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I've started to realize what I've lost... I've been focused on losing "my baby", my warm little bump, that wonderful feeling just knowing she was inside me, those secret little smiles when I'd...
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......... I feel numb now, hours of tears later.....numb is good. I looked at her footprints for the first time today. I can't believe how big she was. How could she be that big and I never felt her...
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Guess I'm starting to have some good days. At least I had one yesterday and today has been pretty calm, so I know it's possible. It's hard to hold on. I'm trying to stop myself from going through...
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Back at work today after being out for the last 2 due to weather and dr's appts. I'm so stress and anxious. I thought I'd feel more normal here doing normal everyday things. It's just hard to be...
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Doesn't matter what I'm actually doing all day, it's an emotional roller coaster. I can have moments that are almost normal (but I ruin them by noticing). so much of the day I'm just so sad and...
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Just spent an hour and a half sobbing. Feeling spent for the moment, almost peaceful except I know I'd easily start crying again right now and that this won't be the last time. I just can't figure...
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