I'm lying in my hotel room at my company's over the top Xmas party, my period is starting, and I'm so sad. This time last year I was six weeks pregnant. Passing that date when I first found out I was going to be a mother was difficult. ...
I miss my Hope so much. I feel like being pregnant again would make me happy. .. I also feel like my baby is Hope, and it's hard to imagine what my feelings for another baby would be.
Why can't I just get pregnant again?! I just want my Hope!
My tears are ruining my make up and I have to go back and join in the party, keep smiling and laughing and acting like my tiny girl isn't dead. She'll never have a 1st Christmas, or anything else.
Ithe feels like this has happened to so many, but when you're with people it seems like no one could understand this. Sometimes I don't understand why i'very lived through this.
I miss my Hope so much. I feel like being pregnant again would make me happy. .. I also feel like my baby is Hope, and it's hard to imagine what my feelings for another baby would be.
Why can't I just get pregnant again?! I just want my Hope!
My tears are ruining my make up and I have to go back and join in the party, keep smiling and laughing and acting like my tiny girl isn't dead. She'll never have a 1st Christmas, or anything else.
Ithe feels like this has happened to so many, but when you're with people it seems like no one could understand this. Sometimes I don't understand why i'very lived through this.
Replies
Just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you.
We named our first miscarried child Baby Hope.
This is a difficult time of year for us as well. So I share in that feeling you are having. And how the emotions can become engulfing.
We lost Baby Hope on 12/12/12. And Little Blossom on 12/31/13.
So we haven\'t had a \"normal\" Christmas since 2011. And this one is proving to be a challenging one for me emotionally.
I understand so much of what you mean when you say this has happened to so many women, but when you\'re out and about with people it seems like you\'re the only one. And that no one understands. I know that feeling.
There is a reason why you have lived through this. It might not be apparent now. But it will be at some later time. I feel certain of it. I know that is of little to no consolation now. But I do feel that there are beautiful things in store down the road in life. Especially for individuals who have had more than their share of suffering.
I am thinking of you and your baby Hope who you are missing with all your heart.
~Kelly
Hi Mary, just to let you know I\'m thinking of you too. I was pregnant this time last year too and so so happy! I was so sure after I lost my baby I would be pregnant again soon, but not so far. Today I watched my friends babies, who were due same time as our baby Jesse, have photos with Santa. I wished my Jesse was there too and have been so sad ever since. Hopefully it\'s just today and tomorrow I can move on. My period is due Christmas Day so I\'m praying for a Christmas miracle! I hope all the best for you both for 2015!