I'm having a really bad day today and I just want a damn cigarette. I don't care anymore. I just want a cigarette because this is what I do when I am this depressed is smoke and smoke and smoke.
Later - Ok, so I didn't smoke, but I just can't shake this horrible funk I'm in. I cried for most of the day again. I am worried about so many things, and I have this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach............I have just about had it with life altogether. Here I am almost 41. Let's see I've had depression and anxiety/panic disorder since I was 32 or 31. I can't even remember. And the reason I can't f___ing remember is because for 6 of those years I was misdiagnosed. Now, when I have the drinking way under control and I feel a sense of "real" self control, I decide to quit smoking. Don't I get to 3 freaking weeks and then everything in my life starts to fall apart. A little piece here, and a little piece there. Every freakin day!!!!! There will be nothing left in a little while. Oh yea, that's right....at least I have my ?health??????????? Or do I??????? God, my teeth hurt!
Later - Ok, so I didn't smoke, but I just can't shake this horrible funk I'm in. I cried for most of the day again. I am worried about so many things, and I have this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach............I have just about had it with life altogether. Here I am almost 41. Let's see I've had depression and anxiety/panic disorder since I was 32 or 31. I can't even remember. And the reason I can't f___ing remember is because for 6 of those years I was misdiagnosed. Now, when I have the drinking way under control and I feel a sense of "real" self control, I decide to quit smoking. Don't I get to 3 freaking weeks and then everything in my life starts to fall apart. A little piece here, and a little piece there. Every freakin day!!!!! There will be nothing left in a little while. Oh yea, that's right....at least I have my ?health??????????? Or do I??????? God, my teeth hurt!
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