gehenna1992's Posts | DailyStrength

Status: I am the Nightrider. I'm a fuel injected suicide machine. I am the rocker, I am the roller, I am the out-of-controller! I'm the Nightrider.

Mood: Horrible

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Bombshell

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I’ve failed myself. Multiple times in fact… I didn’t exactly feel like I was extraordinary in any aspect of my life, I saw someone on stage once I think and maybe that gave me the idea that I would one day be that person. I thought about...
Why can't I not be sober?

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It's been so long since I've been here. Life does like to set me up, it became a vice coming here... Writing "diaries" wasn't exactly helping and being on suicide watch limits your acess to writing material... DEFCON is high around me I guess...I...
Depersonalization

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So in the last session with my psychiatrist, I have finally received a concrete diagnosis. I'll leave the wikipedia link here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depersonalization_disorderAnything you can say that helps or any tips are welcome.
No one ever expects the Spanish Inquisition...

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So... In continuation of the previous discussion.Today I asked people beforehand if they were ok with the fact that our support group became a prayer circle. Some were fine with it but they didn't agree with focusing on prayer taking into account...
Religion

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So I've been added to a support group for people with non war related PTSD. The first few weeks were fine since we were able to speak about eachother's issues and get day to day advice.But recently it took a turn to the religious side when our...
Venting.

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I can't remember the color of her eyes. I can't remember how the light made her skin look in the morning. I can't remember the nights I spent awake seeing her sleep. I can't remember her breathing. I can't remember her voice. I can't remember her...
Epitaph

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I'm sorry.
Dazed and Confused

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So I'm going to try to make this quick.This girl... I've known her for about a year, she's incredibly intelligent for her age and it makes her slightly asocial.A few days ago she messaged me after we just drifted apart, she wanted to tell me she was...
My Simone

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So... Yeah... My neighbour (the one who came to check on me) has been spending time with me when I come back from work...I don't really know how to handle her... She's very upbeat and friendly... I already have trouble being around people and she...
22736.8 nautical miles

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I never mentioned this.I'm a sailor... I mean I haven't sailed in five years. I have been thinking about it for a long time if I should do this and... In all honesty, I think it's time. 22736.8 nautical miles from Portugal to Japan across the...
Ghosts

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As some recommended I talked to my doctor about my black outs. After walking him through the events of the night before I woke up with broken glass in my fist, he told me that it seemed to him like a psychotic break caused by (maybe) PTSD.Although...
Transe

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I don't know what exactly happened last night. As I said before, I black out most nights. I remember having my sister over again. She brought her daughter... I'm scared of that kid, she stares at me emotionless. In anyway I remember them leaving and...
Quick question.

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Does anyone here have nightmares? You can go into specifics if you wish to do so. But for the last 6 months I've been having some horrible nightmares related to my family, I haven't had a good night's sleep in a while.
Floating down the Liffey

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I've been waking up these last few days like I'm booting up a computer. It's strange... When you're not in a situation where your response would be to just go down in anguish, your head will find it's catalyst in any little issue. That fucking light...
Gynophobia

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Among the series of problems with myself... One I have been trying to deal with is my fear of women.I've been branded as a misogynist before because not only do I fear them I get anger attacks when they force a conversation. I'm usually able to just...