Jesse-Thomas
Status: pain is life life is suffering or so the Buddhists say
Mood:
Ok
Offline
- these last few days it feels like im losing my grip on reality it feels like severe rapid cycling the kind that hasn't happened to me in a year or so and all the stress im under right now isn't helping matters attempting to prepare for college and...
- so the last couple of days i haven't been feeling to good been down in the dumps to be perfectly honest so i decided to go make a pit stop by the liquor store im currently not on meds and i was wondering if bit of the old liquid courage is a good...
- so yeah haven't slept in 2 days and i decide it as a good idea to have sex with a random stranger why do i keep doing this to myself i always feel like shit afterwards anyone else do this any thoughts?
- anyone else just in a state where you couldn't really give a crap about whats going on around you you just feel like seeing what comes next and observe it but not get involved cause that's kinda how i feel right now mixed in with a bit of lazybones...
- so all i ever do is complain you say well i say back to that fuck you its my goddamn right to complain if you go through what i do on a daily basis you would complain to no mater how much i try to hide and suppress it i don't know from one day to...
- so yeha i have been sitting here all night chain smoking like a fiend trying to resist the urge to try and od again i have many pills available to me to do it with i have held it together for nearly a year but im starting to crumble i barely sleep...
- so i haven't been sleeping much lately so i went out to target and picked up some diphenhydramineHCI its sleep aid 25mg each and i have been wondering if its a good idea to take pills like these to help m sleep or if they will only make things...
- so i have been thinking a lot about my last hospital stay it was after my second suicide attempt that year i had taken a lethal dose of blood thinners that i had been prescribed for high blood pressure and i was told i had a 50/50 shot of making it...
- so i just got to thinking about my last stay in the hospital and i was wondering when they lock you in the ward are they trying to protect you from yourself or the world from you?
- so kind of a odd post but i have been thinking quite a bit lately about what im going to do when i finally become an old man like late 60 early 70ish type thing and i wonder if my mind will still be intact by then cause there are some days now when...
- so here is the deal work is slowly grinding on my last reserves of strength i have been sleeping way to much and today i held a razor to my hand and thought about carving the back of my hand open bottle of pills hidden under my bed in a drawer i...
- so for the past week or so i have been manic through the roof barely sleeping having a good ole time then about 30 mins ago i go out for a smoke feeling fine then all of it hits me all at once and i feel like a worthless sack of shit being stomped...
- so a couple of clearly underage girls just came up and asked me for a smoke i asked them for id they said they didn't have any and i told them to fuck off this shit just annoys me. i know its not related to bipolar in anyway but fuck kids should...
- why is it that every time i have sex i feel like shit afterwards it gets so bad that i think about suicide i need to figure this out does anyone else feel this way?(just had sex and im feeling like this now)
- stuff just got really bad for me im crashing hard off of a major manic episode and there are strange noises all around me my nightmares becoming hallucinations i can hear the screams from my dreams i cant seem to shake that urge to just check out...