Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
so kind of a odd post but i have been thinking quite a bit lately about what im going to do when i finally become an old man like late 60 early 70ish type thing and i wonder if my mind will still be intact by then cause there are some days now when i can barely string a sentence together without going completely of topic and no one will know what im talking about or i will get midway through one and just have the strongest urge to attack anyone or anything within reach see i have add, bpd, and bipolar so i have to exercise a lot of self control from one moment to the next even trying to type this im getting very fucking angry at my own typing speed being so damn slow but i digress so my question to you in this giant run on sentence is how do you think you will cope with your so called golden years? cause if right now is any indication for me i will be dead by the time im 65
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
I am currently thinking 45 would be a landmark.
Seeing that I couldn't reach even a minute into the future at one time.
For years I cried and died all the while...unable to catch a snapshot of my brain's thoughts.You keep on going.
I am now just doing the best I can every day.
A natural death is my goal.
When I was a kid...teens...I believed technology was on such a trajectory that if I made it to 60, and could afford it, I would live to 100.
If I lived to a 100, and could afford it, I might live to 150.
I actually believed and still kinda do that if I made it to 150 then, if I can afford it, they would be able to put my brain into a cloned me at 16 or 20.
Other times I kinda don't believe I'll be able to afford it so I go with "I hope I die before I get old". By that I mean...I'm just wasting food in a starving world.
I have nothing to contribute because my brain is demented, I'm more of a nuicanse then an object of affection. or worse, I'm being kept alive soley for the purpose of profit.
Please feed me to a Momma Polar Bear with starving cub(s)
For me that's a proud way to go...put it on youtube...maybe it'll start a movement of a more natural return to nature. Kinda give back to them they way they gave to us...or we took fr granted.
Not sure if I digressed but yeah I ramble too...no biggie Jesse.
There are those who find no hope or joy in life but I don't intend to be among them.
Don't imagine I'll see much older..
...but..I've had a lot of bonus years..
..and intend to die laughing..:-) :-) :-)
I'm not going to be any different, and 48 years old I will be happy just to outlive the average male age of people in my family which is in their mid-50s.
The Wolf
Young or old, having to exercise so much control 'just' to keep from lashing out at people or getting fed up with yourself (as in when writing a post such as this) isn't as happy a way of life as I would like to see you have!!
And I'm not saying that you will definitely outgrow some of the things you don't like, but usually people aren't quite done maturing at age 21.
Maybe things will be a bit better, just with the passage of a couple of more years.
I hope you're getting the proper treatment for all the conditions you're dealing with.
Therapy for the BPD, proper meds for the ADD, and proper meds and treatment for the BP.
And I hope all the treatments work (because I know they don't always do.)
Yeah, whichever or whatever is triggering anger in you would be great to get rid of, if possible!!!
I would like to see you feel much better NOW!!
It's fine to wonder what you'll be like when you're 'old', but somewhat of a shame if the reason you're doing it is because you don't even like how you're doing now.
And while it's fine to think about, it's not something to absolutely 'dwell' on.
You can think about it when you're there!!!!
Right now, most of your thinking should be directed at your 'here and now'!!
The better you do now, the more likely it is that you'll do better 50 years from now!!!
(By the way!! I'll let you in on a little secret!!! 'Old' will always be at least 10 years older than you are, no matter how old you get!!! Well, for lots of people, anyway.)
Good luck, Jesse Thomas!!!!
I wish you a happy, easier life than what's happening at the moment!!!
((((((((((Hugs))))))))))
It doesn't sound like you're stable Jesse and a lot can be done about that now...
Are you seeing a therapist to help with the anger?... If meds aren't helping with symptoms maybe you need a med tweak??.
I think quality of life is far more important then quantity..
Big hug for ya..xo
It almost caused a crisis in my life when I was 32. I considered "fixing it" to happen when I wanted, because the thought of dying by surprise and leaving my small son with my ever-lovin' "mf-er" of a current husband was too much for my mind to take. But I didn't go through with it, and now I'm glad.
Really, I am. I still don't think I'm going to live as long as my parents (they're going to go down in history as the oldest living couple Ever), but oh, well.
As to the bipolar side of things? It's made me a Strange and, uh...well, Strange person the older I get. But I'm Better at self-awareness and control than I ever was, say, 10 or 20 years ago.
And I suppose that's nice. :/