Dont listien to those negative voices.. For me and this is my experiance only. I seem to get those voices when I am hurt threatened or afraid. make sure you have had plenty to eat and have been drinking water. I like to stay away from caffeine and cigarettes cause they effect my mood sometimes for worse. Eating right is important.
Alot of beepers just eat sugary food and that just exasperates moodiness. sp. If all else fails I say go help some one. Go do the dishes.. or help a old friend with yard work. Just do something positive each and every day that you can..
You are a good person.. Now feel good about yourself dammit.

Love the high!!!
Hate the crash.
Sigh.

Sounds like it's slamming you good and hard.
I hope it eases soon and you stop feeling like a worthless sack of shit.

You are so NOT that!!
Keep reminding yourself that it may be how you FEEL right now, but it is NOT how it IS.

(((((Hugs)))))

I may be way off base here. But, you say it hit all of a sudden while you were smoking. This is what happens to your body when you smoke.

The chemicals in cigarette smoke are pretty much immediately absorbed into your bloodstream.

From here they go straight to your heart and from there, everywhere else in your body.

Your heart begins to beat faster as soon as you light up, as much as 10 to 25 beats per minute. That adds up to 36,000 extra beats per day.

Smoke can also cause an irregular heartbeat.

The oxygen level in your blood is reduced because the carbon monoxide produced when you smoke tricks the body into thinking that it's oxygen.

I'm not saying there is a connection or just coincidence. Just something to think about.

Whatever the cause, I hope you feel better soon.

I am personally trying to quit smoking myself right now, but I don't know if that is the problem. Sounds like you just crashed from your mania, like we all do. I hate that you are feeling so badly. Wish I had some great advice for you but I usually end up doing ECT when I crash, not much fun. I really hope things get better. And personally, I think it is ok to come here when you need encouragement. That's what we are all here for . best of luck to you.

hope you feel better soon. ((hugs))

You are in a tough spot it happened to me last week and I just chilled at home for 5 days and finally came out of the house and had a productive day,not as productive as being manic feels but truthfully most likely you will feel better a little bit at a time just try to hit that shower in the AM to give you a kick start.

the crash is a killer.

sorry you're struggling man. i hope you level off quickly.

(((Jesse)))~~

The mania you described was pretty off the charts so of course slamming back down will suck to high heaven in comparison.

Sleep is really key for me. I can't do it without meds though I have tried. When I'm getting jacked up I pull out all the stops to try to get sleep -- meds, calming nighttime routine (warm bath, warm milk), soothing music and my snazzy eye mask. I even have spa-type gel-filled booties and gloves to keep them both warm and toasty and hydrated.

Get some good sleep and take extra nice care of yourself while you get back to the mid-range.

Don't know if it will help you but I've found that trying not to put judgements on thoughts helps to prevent them from causing distress. The more you try to fight it the worse and more focus you place on it. One is not their thoughts. They are merely something that comes and goes. If something crazy pops in your head simply say hmmm...and don't try to assess it as good or bad. Eventually you may find the ego tends to leave one alone more often and when it doesn't you have trained yourself how to deal with it.

Does take time and practice though. But eventually will get easier

Sorry to post yet again but this analogy just came to me. Think of the mind like the body. You can influence the mind and the thoughts that arise but you dont have complete control just like the body. With the body you control the muscles but dont control when they feel tired or not. You have influence over it via rest and nutrition but complete control no. That is kinda how i approach the mind.