BlackGirlLost706
Status: Just need a friend that can understand.
Mood:
Ok
Offline
- A man who actually cares about me as a person. Not a man who looks at me like an object to be used. I want a man that can actually be ok with who I am. Never had that from a man but I've accepted all kinds of bullshit. I don't know why God allowed...
- I gave myself to God in 2017. Way before I started doing forums. I had been raped a second time in my life and it made me feel so low because of me choosing to still deal with this person after the evil he did. Anyways, I was celibate for 3 years....
- There's something about a father's love. Especially when your a daughter who never got to experience it. My dad die last year from colon cancer. I think I mentioned it on here before. This year, it's really hitting me. This month is also his...
- I haven't been present on here for awhile because I'm just really tired of that fact that the only way I can communicate with people is through a laptop screen. You can't really tell people's real reaction to something. I just want real friends, in...
- The thing is it's been two months since we last talked. We've had back and forth before and I don't want to continue it. I want to tell him how I really feel but I keep mentally telling myself that 1) its been a couple of months and 2) he probably...
- My regret...coming to California. Yea, I learned lessons but being here, I missed out on spending time with people who I can't spend time with anymore. I've missed so many birthdays and just being there with loved ones. I'm thinking that after I...
- Update...my grandmother passed away December 12th. This Thursday passed. We really never know when our time is coming. I will say, this time I wasn't angry at God because I know my grandmother was tired. But I just want all of this make sense. Its...
- My grandmother is doing better. I'm happy about that. I'm taking a break from social media and talking to people I guess you can say. I've been getting this feeling that God is telling me to stop the things that I have been doing trying to get...
- Haven't really been on here in awhile. I guess you can say I'm putting my "depressive energy" into things that will make a difference one day I guess. I'm almost finished with my first semester of school and it's going well. I have a two week vacay...
- It's not even because of the holidays, it's not because I'm lonely because I'm not. I wish I had an actual friend who I could hangout with, talk to, and be able to really be myself with. I believe you can't be yourself with everybody because...
- The reality is He's not. He just stands by and watches my suffereing, hurting, and all the painful things that have happen to me, he allowed it. Am I not good enough? Am I not devoted enough? Whatever the case is, this is the biggest let down in all...
- Has anybody ever felt the vibe of being doubted by family, friends, or significant others? I feel like that with my aunt right now. I stay with her right now until I get myself together to move on my on. My real dream and passion is to sing...
- I actually went outside today. I walked to the park and started reading this book I have. Its titled Tortured for Christ. Its pretty interested right now. BUt I'm going to continue to read it.
- I don't like the term lonely. I'd rather say I'm alone. I don't mind being by myself and I definitely wouldn't mind having some to hang out with and talk too. Tomorrow I'm going to make an effort to get out the house and just take a walk, get some...
- Today was actually good. I didn't have any suicidal thoughts and I finished my homework and I did my hair. It's weird how one day you can be so down in the dumps nd the next day your up and moving and showing yourself how important you are. You...