hugs my friend. Take as much "me" time as you need. You are right. You deserve so much more. Learn to appreciate and love yourself. That self esteem and pride for yourself is so important.

It sounds like you are finding your own self love and self value. Sometimes these painful feelings do spur us to create better for ourselves. I am not sure if God "allows" us to go through these things or if it is just a normal part of being human. We all have painful situations and we all have times of suffering. Perhaps these are things God uses to help us grow emotionally and pull us closer to him. I don't know but bad things do happen to good people. I hear a lot of strength within you. I admire that you reached out on here. I was married to a guy who used my body and didn't care if I liked it or not. I kept trying to talk about it and later I realized he could not give love. So like you, I was an object or his possession to be used. It hurt me for a long time and it has taken me many years to heal myself. I also realized I had some codependence and just wanted to be loved and approved of and so I attracted users. I am glad you shared this on here. I am wishing you the best.

Big hug for you BGL.... I agree that it's great that you're making a decision about your value and what you will never tolerate again

I am so sorry that you've been badly hurt... If our self esteem isn't nurtured when we are young children it can take some time to find it.... xo

Thank you for sharing. I am so sorry you have had such bad experiences with men. It is definitely understandable why you are apprehensive to get involved with a man again. All experiences we go through in life we learn from and help us grow, even the most traumatic ones. One thing that I have been on journey to do is learn to love myself first. If we love ourselves, then we won't allow others to treat us poorly. It starts with listing what you appreciate about yourself. Improving your self-esteem will make a difference and get you ready to be able to find a man who will appreciate you for who you are. As human beings we tend to fall into a rut of doing the same behaviors or falling into the same kind of relationships. But that can be changed, you just have to believe in yourself and be willing to make those changes. I worked with a healthy life coach to get to that point in my life. I also relied on God to give me strength to make those changes. I say this often, I don't have to be stuck where I am, I can let go of the past, and I can move forward so my future can be different and better. I will be praying for you. PM me if you'd like to chat. Hugs and God Bless

I think caring (above) said it well. Being a man, I cringe a little at the thought of those who are insensitive to women. And being the father of an adult daughter. So sorry that you were hurt and I hope you find healing and see the past fade. I know that must seem like a lifetime away.
I agree about believing that things happen for a reason. They just happen. It's how we change from these experiences that matters. The way I see it there are two directions we humans can take in our lives; expanding or contracting. One leads to hope and fulfillment Be kind to yourself.

God "allows" us to go through this as a lesson. Maybe he wants you to see that you are attracted to the wrong type of men. Maybe he wants you too see that you are masking yourself to win mens favor and how bad that is making things end up.

I am sorry you are running into this but many times I see people go for someone they are not compatible with and it always ends up in disaster.

Don't give up but try to adjust yourself so you expose more of your personality when trying to date. That way you can get those that cannot accept you out of the way for those that will accept you.

Great post rainbooyer, and I want to second it.
"Maybe he wants you too see that you are masking yourself to win mens favor and how bad that is making things end up."
This reminds me of some of the Great work the late John Bradshaw did in his day, which is featured freely on youtube, so if you want some excellent self help material, I highly recommend his work. He pioneered many helps and concepts around healing our inner child, and he so aptly describes how the dysfunction of most families, separates us from ourselves at a very young age and keeps us from getting our childhood needs met. He gives some excellent examples of people who learn from a young age that the way they can matter is to get the attention of men, most of whom are very bad for them. When we avail ourselves of helpful resources like the ones mentioned here, and start to do our inner child work as he describes, we start to heal and grow and be more authentic... it will take time so be patient, and love on yourself along the way... but if you keep at it, you will find a great peace and wholeness, and you will know that you are going to be okay whether you find a man who is worthy of your time and attention or not -- take this from someone who has been there and done that, and continuing to grow...
Peace and love... be gentle and good to yourself always.

How are things going? I have been praying for you. Hugs

Hey @caring2018 things have been good. I’ve been focusing on me and healing from traumatic experiences. That’s all. Thanks for asking and thanks for praying for me.

You sound like a strong woman, and your experiences made you even stronger. You WILL find that man and more.

Put everything out there for him to find you, specifically. On paper. Reason I say specifics, is so universe and God will respond. Put down exactly what you want. He makes me laugh, he can cook well, he is handy around the house, sees me and only me, loves me for who I am and vice versa, great in bed, good kisser, gives hugs when I am sad/happy, etc. You get the drift :)