Abstinence & Celibacy Support Group

The pressures of sex from peers, the media and culture can be overwhelming, but you are in total control of your body and celibacy is a choice that many are making. Find sanctuary with people who are choosing to abstain without fear of judgment.

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Women's Health
/ Abstinence & Celibacy Support Group

Back to Celibacy...Maybe for GOOD!

BlackGirlLost706
BlackGirlLost706

I gave myself to God in 2017. Way before I started doing forums. I had been raped a second time in my life and it made me feel so low because of me choosing to still deal with this person after the evil he did. Anyways, I was celibate for 3 years. Last year, I met this guy while staying at my grandma's house and everything was good. However, things got to a point where I didn't wanrt to have sex any more. And it wasn't even because of my "religion". It was because I found out that even though he was separated from his wife, he was still married. I wanted to be friends, but he ghosted me. It just made me believe I wasted my time and my vagina on someone who didn't stay yet again. The worse part? I told him about the rape and for him to do me like he did, it felt I was being raped for a third time in my life. I ask God all the time what's wrong with me. I ask Him why doesn't He let me die. I ask Hhim why haven't I been dead. I've never did anything but loved people and to never receive it? It sucks. I wish I was dead. But until then, I guess I live my life celibate for as long as I can. Even if God does bless me with a husband. I hope he's okay without having sex for awhile. 

arfie
arfie
Hello BGL. Welcome to the forum. The circumstances of our celibacy are so radically different that I have been hesitant to respond to this post, but letting your post go ignored doesn't feel right, either.

My youngest and now deceased son (traffic accident) was part of a 90's movement called, "Worth the Wait." He came across the movement through born-again Christians, but Christians were far from the only HS students in his peer group embracing the principle. A quick surf tells me that name for the movement has been co-opted by a hit song, but the trend toward pre-marital abstinence has grown under many labels to the extent that even the med pros are promoting it with secular, scientific logics.

The lines between abstinence and celibacy are fuzzy, at best, but? ? ? Wondering if ya oughta check it out. Just wondering. . .

Gentle support while you sort what is right for you.
Jobbie
Jobbie
Black girl lost......smh.....smh....girl, I wish I could give you a hug.......... I wished we could get together and talk........ I can' say I understand........ I've been raped......... I was celibate for decades !!!! I waited and waited...... And I'm starting to question if I gave up my celibacy to the wrong one? ....... I understand the questions you have.....why?..... I understand the feeling of wanting to be dead........ But that's not what God wants.... God has a purpose and a plan for your life, he has a plan for everyone of us, the Bible says he wants us to prosper and be in good health ! The Bible also says we are to live in him Christ Jesus ,to live move and have your being ! PRAY , pray pray....God is able, he will heal you emotionally, just ask him ! God loves you and I do too ! Hugs and prayers , jobbie
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