aaligirl
Status: pleassseee god if your out there give me strength
Mood:
Ok
Offline
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can it really get any worse for me .... does god really just hate me to have to put me though all these things... and living with him makes it all the harder ... why doesnt he just take my heart out...
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blah havent written a journal in a long time ugh .... why after a year am i still obsessed with him ... why does he have to play games with my head its not fair and once again after i met someone he...
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why why why do i do this to myself .. why do i keep spending all my money on this stupid kid who doesnt even love mee... amd uses amd abusees mee i seriously jsut dont get it ...ughhh my heartttt...
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is there sooommmeee kinda reason that i cant forget about him ... why cant i jsut stop talking to him ... i hate that evryday tht i feel like i wont beable to live without him ...its not fair .. that...
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WHY WONT I LET MYSELF FORGET ABOUT YOU YOU STUPID ASSHOLE I JUST DONT GET IT WHY CANT I JUST FORGET ABOPUT YOU ...I FUCKEN HATE YOU SOOO MUCH BECAUSE YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE DOING TO ME AND YOU...
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I HTE YOU .... I HATE YOU RICHARD .... YOU WILL NEVER SEE THISBUT I FUCKEN HATE YOU AND THE FACT TAHT YOU SIT HERE AND STILL USE ME FOR MY MONEY AND THINK THAT ITS OK TO DO SO? REALLY ... WE HAVENT...
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its been almost a year why cant i get over him and as for this weekend all i did was cry .... and he doesnt care he is right he doesnt care what i do ... he told me he will never jsut fall back into...
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just have to figure out when it will be my turn to be happy ... one day i will be ok and look back and nevr wantto talk to him again and when he has nothing i will have evrything and he will be sorry...
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it has offically been almost 9 months since he broke up with me ... i moved out so why cant i get over this why cant i acccept that me and him are never going to get back together ever? why is that...
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why does he tell me he wnats to be with me then doesnt why does he always change his mind like evryday ... what more can i possibly do? al i do is love him with all my heart ......
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i dont want to be alive anymore .. whats the pooint my lifeis full of disappointments .... how can someone sit here and do such wrong to a person who doesn nothing but love them with all their heart...
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finally went and tried to get some help at school got to vent .... with one of our counlors .. it was fine until he came home ... i love him soo much i just want t hug him and i want him to lvoe me i...
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i love the way that he goes out ...acts like its just a friend thing when i know the truth.. its not just a friend thing .... i get to sit at home and think all about this stupid shit ... about what...
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why is it when i feel sooo happy espeically today ... i havent cried today ... and he mae me cry ... im am sorry i am not her ... im sorry i dont have t he perfect body .. srry i dont have big boobs...
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WHEN DID I GET SOOO CO DEPENDENT ON A GUY?! .... WHY DID I LET HIM FUCK ME UP OO BAD... I GUESS IT STARTED OFF WITH MY EX EX .... HE WAS SOOO CONTROLILING AND I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE IT ..I LOST ALL MY...
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