aaligirl
Status: pleassseee god if your out there give me strength
Mood:
Ok
Offline
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I am pregnant. .. I hate it I don'the want this baby what so ever I have the sweetest boyfriend ... but I just don't love him and maybe it's me being off my med's. .. Idk it sucks so so bad ... it''s...
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blah havent written a journal in a long time ugh .... why after a year am i still obsessed with him ... why does he have to play games with my head its not fair and once again after i met someone he...
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why why why do i do this to myself .. why do i keep spending all my money on this stupid kid who doesnt even love mee... amd uses amd abusees mee i seriously jsut dont get it ...ughhh my heartttt...
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is there sooommmeee kinda reason that i cant forget about him ... why cant i jsut stop talking to him ... i hate that evryday tht i feel like i wont beable to live without him ...its not fair .. that...
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WHY WONT I LET MYSELF FORGET ABOUT YOU YOU STUPID ASSHOLE I JUST DONT GET IT WHY CANT I JUST FORGET ABOPUT YOU ...I FUCKEN HATE YOU SOOO MUCH BECAUSE YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE DOING TO ME AND YOU...
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I HTE YOU .... I HATE YOU RICHARD .... YOU WILL NEVER SEE THISBUT I FUCKEN HATE YOU AND THE FACT TAHT YOU SIT HERE AND STILL USE ME FOR MY MONEY AND THINK THAT ITS OK TO DO SO? REALLY ... WE HAVENT...
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its been almost a year why cant i get over him and as for this weekend all i did was cry .... and he doesnt care he is right he doesnt care what i do ... he told me he will never jsut fall back into...
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just have to figure out when it will be my turn to be happy ... one day i will be ok and look back and nevr wantto talk to him again and when he has nothing i will have evrything and he will be sorry...
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it has offically been almost 9 months since he broke up with me ... i moved out so why cant i get over this why cant i acccept that me and him are never going to get back together ever? why is that...
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why does he tell me he wnats to be with me then doesnt why does he always change his mind like evryday ... what more can i possibly do? al i do is love him with all my heart ......
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i dont want to be alive anymore .. whats the pooint my lifeis full of disappointments .... how can someone sit here and do such wrong to a person who doesn nothing but love them with all their heart...
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finally went and tried to get some help at school got to vent .... with one of our counlors .. it was fine until he came home ... i love him soo much i just want t hug him and i want him to lvoe me i...
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i love the way that he goes out ...acts like its just a friend thing when i know the truth.. its not just a friend thing .... i get to sit at home and think all about this stupid shit ... about what...
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why is it when i feel sooo happy espeically today ... i havent cried today ... and he mae me cry ... im am sorry i am not her ... im sorry i dont have t he perfect body .. srry i dont have big boobs...
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WHEN DID I GET SOOO CO DEPENDENT ON A GUY?! .... WHY DID I LET HIM FUCK ME UP OO BAD... I GUESS IT STARTED OFF WITH MY EX EX .... HE WAS SOOO CONTROLILING AND I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE IT ..I LOST ALL MY...
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