one two three one two three........

finally went and tried to get some help at school got to vent .... with one of our counlors .. it was fine until he came home ... i love him soo much i just want t hug him and i want him to lvoe me i am sooo stupid.... he will never love me ....i just want him back sooo bad i am soooo stupid.... i bleached my hair cuz he said he likes blones ... i got my side tattooed for him ... beacuse i thought he would think i was prettier ... haha i am soo lame .... because he will never want to be with m shouldnt i get that ... the other night iwent out with some friends got left with guys i didnt know had to jump out of the car called him and thought he would ave came and saved me ... haha i was wrong ... made it home and the next day we were suppose to go riding and he didnt come home ... i even tried to get him a truck.... and it didnt matter.... i just needed a strong cosigner ... haha and he didnt care .. i love him i cant help it i just wnat him to  come home one day and tell me he loves me haha yea right ....i think one day i will be ok ...i really wanted to wlk into schol and quit but they wouldnt let me ... ughhhhhhhhhhhh someone help me pleaseeeee......i am glad i got to talk to someone tho .... i feel like i have noone ... i live evryday for my baby girl ( my sissy) ... because she is the most sweetest best little girl ever i am soo lucky to have her ... i am her older sissy so i need to show her to b strong ... i can do this i just have to take one day at a time ..... i almost cut the other day but my stupid classes wont let me hid them ... thought about maybe getting another tat that  always makes me feel good ... blah ... one day at a time