Ah, one edit, things ended March 2012...not March 2011. Different time frame.

this one is to a family member who I have recently realized is a total N...I am soo angry!

It is time to set the record straight.
My daughter is getting married and whether you like it or not THAT matters more than all of the bullshit that you and Victoria have thrown at the both of us. I am completely appalled and disgusted by the behavior exhibited by both of you. I honestly believe that if my Father was still living you would not have bullied us in this way. You are selfish, narcissistic bullies…look it up! Believe me the shoe fits.
We have done nothing WRONG. There was NOTHING that could not have been remedied with some COMMUNICATION from one of you a long, long time ago. But YOU DID NOT RESPOND!! We made decisions. Those were the consequences of your actions and non-actions, Victoria.
I am through feeling sorry that your feelings were hurt. We were nothing but gracious and gave you a very gracious way of bowing OUT of being IN the wedding. Victoria!!....you don’t have the money and you don’t fit the dress and you don’t have the time!!
Instead of graciously accepting that way out, instead of calling and saying “We Love you…Whatever you need for your wedding we are here for you”…you chose to send nasty text messages to Me and to my Daughter. No one disrespects my daughter especially about her WEDDING!! There is something extremely wrong with both of you.
After meeting with you, Mitch, and watching you attempt to manipulate me with your false tears and false attempts to gain sympathy I felt sick to my stomach. You are a true Narcissist and you need help. You were asked to do the flowers to make you happy…you turned that around as if you were not asked in the right way or asked to do enough. There is no pleasing you. At our “meeting” I told you that I needed to know that you were going to DROP this! I needed to know that you and Victoria were 100% in Love and supportive of Me and my Daughter…Obviously, both you and Victoria are incapable of seeing far enough outside of yourselves to realize THAT THIS ONE IS NOT ABOUT YOU!! This is about________ AND ____________! But you are far too selfish to see it. You chose to stand up and walk away. There was no way I was going to go through the next few months wondering If things were going to be OK!! You were not on Board to be loving and supportive to My Daughter and her Future Husband on one of the MOST IMPORTANT DAYS OF THEIR LIVES.
This entire chapter is now OVER. I am not going to wait around and see what happens to this family. This part of this family is OVER. You have both disrespected me and my Daughter to an ugly and entirely unacceptable degree.
I have no doubt that you will continue to go around BASHING Me and MY FAMILY, That’s what you always do…claiming how hurt and angry and abused you were by this situation (or any situation)….When the truth is that you have and will twist and turn each and every thing that has occurred to try to make you look good and us look bad…………….We both know you will be lying. So go ahead and spew your venom at the family about us. I can’t control it AND I DO NOT CARE ANYMORE.
We will NOT be inviting either of you to this special Day. You have proven that you are incapable of putting ANYONE above yourselves…and it is entirely disgusting. I will not allow my daughter’s day to be tainted by your venom.
LIFE IS NOT ALL ABOUT YOU….

dear mr. man: you are a liar, a coward, and a cheater. you came around acting like you wanted something special with me, then took off with someone else. you use me. but the worst thing you did was laugh at me. laughed at how hurt i would be when you didn't show up or stand up for me. again. my revenge to you - you will never benefit from the beauty, strength, and love of my spirit. your total loss. idiot.

PS - i love this post string!!!!

Dear Creo, Good for you getting all of this OUT! I copied this one thing "You don't even see that you do this, that taking is easy for you at the same time as asking is difficult. You think the honour is in not asking and yet, you constantly demonstrate needs"... They are truly deeply manipulative...and I believe that they do KNOW exactly what they are doing...but they are soooo good at appearing helpless that we believe they are...THEY ARE NOT! imo...if they were truly honorable they would not accpt what was offerred.
hUGS AND bLESSINGS TO YOU

creo - you're beautiful. he robbed that knowledge from you. good to see you working on getting it back.

Ugh, we love to give these guys so much of our power.
I think Im ready to be alone for a while.

Dear X ,

Remember when we would tell each other 4ever and a day . I wish I'd have know you were lying but then that is what our relationship was , one big lie . You may have loved me at one time but I loved you all the time . What happened to us ? We used to talk about all our problems and work them out together . Why is it that you couldn't bring to me the way you were feeling ? Why couldn't you give me the consideration of talking about what was going on with you . I know that I'm not perfect . I have my faults . What you did was so hurtful and cowardly that it just amazes me still . If you didn't want to be with me you should have been a man and told me face to face . Not tell me by phone . Then I find out you're talking and texting a 24 year old girl the same day you dump me . That's why you didn't want me looking over your shoulder when you were on facebook . I never gave you any reason not to trust me and I would have never hurt you like this . I have bent over backwards to keep you happy but no more . You are such a horses a** . I feel sorry for you . You are going to go thru life lonely and never truly loved . You'll always get hooked up with women who will only use you , like your 24 year old trick . What I can't understand is what she wants with a broke , used 59 year old man . I guess she thinks she's getting herself a sugar daddy , but we both know the truth about that one . All I can say is it's your loss , not mine .

This has been a tough holiday weekend that I would normally spend with you. I do miss your companionship and most of the things about our relationship. What I don't miss is the mean spirited comments you made to me at times. I'm not sure why you felt it was okay to say some of those things that you knew would hurt me.
Now you tell me you want to be friends? I can't be friends with someone I still have feelings for. That may work for you, but it will ot allow me to move on because you obviously don't want to work on our relationship.
My hope is that someday you will realize what a loving, caring person you had in your life and that you will mourn the loss of me as I am doing now with you.

I have already made the mistake of texting you far too many times, without reply....thus, giving you the control and sense of power I'm sure you're enjoying while you're on vacation (if that is even true) for more than two weeks. It's funny because I could never seem to get you to commit to a vacation with me. And when I think back on our relationship, the one time it seemed you wanted me the most, was when I was FINALLY ALMOST OVER YOU. I hadn't contacted you in over a month and you were texting me, begging me to take you back. I mustered up the courage to tell you we were never good for each other and we both deserved better (we do, by the way) but you refused to believe it. And then we reconnect and you tell me you're still in love with me and want to work it out and then when I accept, you tell me you want to give some woman from your past a chance? And then you change your mind again and you want to try with me, and what happens? You go away on this "vacation" and I don't hear a word from you. How is that possible? And why is it that writing to you here in this forum doesn't stop me from wanting to write to you via text message or call you and hope you answer (you won't of course, you haven't in a week...since you left). What would change if I told you how I feel right now? Surely you already know, and my contact with you seems to have done nothing but make me feel stupid and hurt....and if I had to guess, it's also giving you the feeling of satisfaction that you can be with me if you choose, or not.

Smart, talented, good-looking, star football player, president of the Student Council, and all-around nice guy. That is what I remember about you during our high school tenure. So, quite naturally, I was extremely flattered when, 41 years later, you "found" me and confessed that I had been your secret love all during high school; you were just too shy to tell me, you said. Well, I thought I had died and gone to Relationship Heaven when you asked me to be your one and only. "I let you get away from me 41 years ago, and I'm not about to let you get away again." That's exactly what you said. I was just over the moon! My sagging self-esteem went from zero to one hundred in just a few seconds. I convinced myself that God had sent you to me. At my age, I told myself, this man is your last chance at happiness...

Your three failed marriages (which you later changed to two), were all your ex-wives' fault. Your failure in the music industry, as well as a ruptured aorta that nearly killed you, was your sister's fault. ("Oh, you poor thing!" I thought to myself. "Why, I would never treat you that way!" "What horrible, horrible women!") I remember your telling me that you were on temporary disability, due to your spinal stenosis, and after your impending surgery, you were going to go back to work, so you could give me everything I've always wanted. You even began telling your friends that you were going to ask me to marry you. I could retire from my job of 32 years, you said, and we would uproot and move to a "stretch of land in North Carolina, where we would build our dream home. Our only visitors would be our children, whom we would entertain solely on Thanksgiving and Christmas.

It didn't take long before your true controlling nature reared its ugly head. You insisted that I let you watch football; that any lovemaking we did would have to wait until Christmas. (Mind you, we became a couple in August.) You wouldn't let me touch you. You would tease me, sexually, then pull back. The lies you told were astounding, especially the one where you told me you could have been an actor, but you were told you were too tall. I took care of you following your surgery, and you treated me like shit; you did everything except physically hit me. You gave me your spare apartment key, and you insisted that I allow you to move in with me. I refused, saying it was much too soon to even consider that notion. You didn't like that answer, so you upped the ante by pretending to want to make love. When I became aroused, you pushed me away. That was the last straw for me. I told you that I was tired of your treatment of me, that I had spoken to you several times about my need for intimacy; that it was now bordering on begging; and that I would NEVER beg you. I turned my back to you and attempted to go to sleep. You threw your arm around me. I threw it off. You slept until noon the next day, fueled by a wine-and-pain-pill-induced frenzy. You announced that you were leaving. I asked when, if at all, you would be back. You said you weren't sure. I could see the absolute glee in your eyes as your idiotic cat-and-mouse game took off. You asked me for a hug. I said no. When you attempted to hug me anyway, I backed away from you. I refused to let you see how confused and upset I was. You walked out the door with a smirk on your face, which let me know, instinctively, that you were purposely trying to hurt me, destroy me; my punishment was to "chase" you.

Fast forward: It has now been six months since you walked out my door. You tried every trick in your twisted mind to get me to contact you. You had your cousin call me. (I never called him back). You sent a pathetic "I'm Sorry" note to my personal email, in which you never acknowledged any responsibility for your wretched behavior. I never responded to that email. Finally, when you realized that your mind games weren't working on me, you mailed to me a nasty, vile letter, accusing me of the very things you had done to me. I wasn't fooled. I was very hurt, but I wasn't fooled. I knew that I needed to get you out of my life for good. I blocked you from both my Facebook page and my personal email. If a strange call showed up on my Called ID, I didn't answer the phone. I came to the stark realization that not only are you a fraud and a pathological liar, but that you are profoundly disturbed, as well. I had to admit to myself that I had fallen in love with who I thought you were. But, it all turned out to be a mirage. I feel sorry for all the women whom you've hurt. I feel sorry for your children, who have been deprived of so many things. And, believe it or not, I feel sorry for you, too. It's much easier to feel sorry for you than it is to hate you. Don't get me wrong. I've had my share of tears, trying to figure out how you could treat me so shabbily; the tears, thank God, have given me a renewed strength and clarity. I now see you for exactly what you are. Your aim was to use me and hurt me. (The "job" which you spoke about returning to, was non-existent; you haven't held a job in years. And your so-called temporary disability is, in fact, a permanent one, due to your own self-neglect.) Had I been desperate enough to remain in the relationship, my job would have been to spend the rest of my days catering to your sorry ass. I know that I am much better off without you, but there are times when I still find myself thinking about you, wondering how you're doing. I try not to be so hard on myself when I get that way; after all, I'm only human. Then, I quickly remind myself of the truly horrible person you were to me, and it's back to reality. I may cry, I may become angry; but it's good to know that I CAN FEEL SOMETHING, unlike yourself, who feels nothing.

Wow! Ladies, I didn't realize that I had so much to say. I feel fantastic! Thank you for allowing me to vent! I'll be back...

you have no right to punish me for what someone else did to you, i gave you my love, my trust and you threw it away over and over again, im sure you do it just for fun, i think you get a kick out of watching me break, i wish i had never met you, and i pray to god that you finally leave me alone

I am starting to see the emptiness in your eyes. I just came across a photo in my archives and I looked and looked and looked and I saw that the smile was there, eye contact was there but "you" were not present.
I wrote you an email after our last meeting to explain how unhealthy it is for me to spend time with you at this point in time. It has a negative impact on me for days. My emotions surface so intensely and the longing, the expectations and the subsequent disappointment are predictable and damaging. Oddly enough, this was all felt with you holding my hand, telling me you love me...how can that be? It is this way because it is not real but it is about as real as you can muster.
Your reply to my email was to thank me for sharing my thoughts and then telling me it was nice to spend time with me (HUH???) and that you love me. Period. Really? You love sitting with a monosyllabic, crying former partner and hanging out. Was that fun?
Last night when you texted me to see if I wanted to get together again this week, I was even more sure that you read my email but didn't really get it. I replied, "Please respond properly to my email." and you asked if I were mad. Mad? Uh. Mad? I am so confused by you and yet logic speaks volumes.
I see more and more that this is about the best you can do, that this is love to you, that you think you are getting your paperwork and business together and that then we can "see". You have no time in your life, no space in your heart, no soul that you leave exposed to breathe in love and depth. You are not present.
You tug at my heart strings but the reason I cry and cry and cry (silent big huge tears that start mid-way through any meeting when I have suffered through trivial conversation and had enough) is that I look at you and want so much more than you are able to offer. I suppress the urge to say, "STOP it. Be real. Who are you? Step up." The man I met and fell for was an illusion.
Letting go of an illusion is not a lot of fun.

I am starting to see the emptiness in your eyes. I just came across a photo in my archives and I looked and looked and looked and I saw that the smile was there, eye contact was there but "you" were not present.
I wrote you an email after our last meeting to explain how unhealthy it is for me to spend time with you at this point in time. It has a negative impact on me for days. My emotions surface so intensely and the longing, the expectations and the subsequent disappointment are predictable and damaging. Oddly enough, this was all felt with you holding my hand, telling me you love me...how can that be? It is this way because it is not real but it is about as real as you can muster.
Your reply to my email was to thank me for sharing my thoughts and then telling me it was nice to spend time with me (HUH???) and that you love me. Period. Really? You love sitting with a monosyllabic, crying former partner and hanging out. Was that fun?
Last night when you texted me to see if I wanted to get together again this week, I was even more sure that you read my email but didn't really get it. I replied, "Please respond properly to my email." and you asked if I were mad. Mad? Uh. Mad? I am so confused by you and yet logic speaks volumes.
I see more and more that this is about the best you can do, that this is love to you, that you think you are getting your paperwork and business together and that then we can "see". You have no time in your life, no space in your heart, no soul that you leave exposed to breathe in love and depth. You are not present.
You tug at my heart strings but the reason I cry and cry and cry (silent big huge tears that start mid-way through any meeting when I have suffered through trivial conversation and had enough) is that I look at you and want so much more than you are able to offer. I suppress the urge to say, "STOP it. Be real. Who are you? Step up." The man I met and fell for was an illusion.
Letting go of an illusion is not a lot of fun.

Happy birthday... I now you hate me now... but I wanted to wish you a happy birthday anyway, because I truly was your mate. You say that I played games, that I used you, but it's not true. I would have done so much for you... You know why I wouldn't be your lover... you don't care about me, your wife, your kids. All you care about is you and your power. You're just selfish like in your Chinese horoscope portrait. I deserve better than you, I deserve true happiness. I don't hate you, but I must stay away from you, because you hurt me too much.

I have been really pissed at you lately.
Like I said, I would rather be angry than sad.
We shared so many special and beautiful moments.
I wanted to share my life with you and I wanted to show you all the beauty in the world.
I miss you.
I love you, and I am so pissed that you could not budge an inch, not try to be flexible in anyway.
You are a coward that would not take a chance on me, even after I put my life in your hands.
I am pissed that you are addicted to hash and not a healthier person. You will never see you failings or take responsibility for yourself. I wish you would, but I can't change you.