Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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How long to wear your wedding rings?

deleted_user
deleted_user
I am wondering about something. How long did any of you who lost your spouses wear your wedding rings after you lost your husband or wife and if you are still wearing them how long do you plan to wear them? Do you think it is OK to keep them on forever? And at the same time do you think it is OK to take them off and if so when? It is something I wrestle with lately because I feel like it is kind of like living a lie or living in the past and not being willing to move on with my life to keep them on and at the same time I feel like it is somehow a betrayal of Paul to take them off. I feel so confused. I do wear his ring on a gold chain around my neck and will continue to do so as that does not indicate to the world that I am something I am not.It does show perhaps what my situation really is.Does anyone have any feelings they can share on this. I really would appreciate some dialouge on it.My family is no help at all as they are so biased that they can't think logically.I look forward to some ideas from others in the same situation I am in. Thanks
marijapomagaj
marijapomagaj
gold banded FOREVER buried him with his ... will be buried with mine

tho did give the engagement ring 'set' to son-in-law who proposed exactly two years ago today (first baby due after Easter :)
Truhal
Truhal
I wore mine for exactly one year. I based it on the old Victorian custom of mourning for one year. My mother-in-law never took hers off. It's all about your personal preferences.
dvelasco69
dvelasco69
I purchased a silver heart ring that holds my husbands ashes. I haven't gotten the ashes put in yet. On my list of 100 things to do. When I do I may wear it on my left hand and my anniversary band on my right. Not ready yet. Only been 3 months.
praised
praised
I wanted to wear my ring forever, but I have carpal tunnel and my fingers swell, so I had no choice. It was hard not being able to wear it, but I wear his wedding band on my third finger and his "big face"watch."
Community Leadercliffskat
cliffskat
It was really strange seeing this thread come back up. It is 8 years old and the original poster hasn't been here in 4 years, and she thanked everyone for their input at reply #50, so not sure why this got dragged back up after so many years. Strange to see old friends who healed and moved on, that haven't been here in years. Strange to see my own posted replies from when I was a new widow - 7 plus years ago.

Some old threads are helpful and we bring them back up from time to time. Just really odd to see this one again as the first 100 or so replies are from people who aren't here anymore except for me and Acuriousfish - and we're CLs now.

Hugs...
PiperHorton
PiperHorton
I would love to wear my engagement ring throughout my life and till my last breath. We think that rings are the precious thing that connects our heart together. See my wedding ring here https://www.elmajewellery.co.uk/titanium-rings-c-239_170.html don’t it look fabulous. Although, we are two souls and one heart, the reason for our happy marriage is a long conversation that seems too short. It is so great to spend our whole life with the one who stole our heart. The reason of being happy is our love game where both plays and wins.
shelda
shelda
I wear both sets now from first and second husband on both hands..not all the time but i never did in real life either..i use my hands alot :)
Jdhayes
Jdhayes
I still wear mine, but it has only been 11 weeks for me. I don't have any plans to take it off anytime soon. I do like the idea of resizing it and wearing it on another finger if/when I decide to take it off.
MrsP
MrsP
Only 9 weeks so have not even considered taking my ring off. Don't think I ever will. I'm still married as far as I'm concerned.
Sseeker12
Sseeker12
I'm planning on wearing my rings for the rest of my life. It's completely up to you. Right now I'm wearing his ring...but plan to hand that over to my son when he gets married. The decision is entirely yours.