Widows & Widowers Support Group

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How long to wear your wedding rings?

deleted_user
deleted_user
I am wondering about something. How long did any of you who lost your spouses wear your wedding rings after you lost your husband or wife and if you are still wearing them how long do you plan to wear them? Do you think it is OK to keep them on forever? And at the same time do you think it is OK to take them off and if so when? It is something I wrestle with lately because I feel like it is kind of like living a lie or living in the past and not being willing to move on with my life to keep them on and at the same time I feel like it is somehow a betrayal of Paul to take them off. I feel so confused. I do wear his ring on a gold chain around my neck and will continue to do so as that does not indicate to the world that I am something I am not.It does show perhaps what my situation really is.Does anyone have any feelings they can share on this. I really would appreciate some dialouge on it.My family is no help at all as they are so biased that they can't think logically.I look forward to some ideas from others in the same situation I am in. Thanks
deleted_user
deleted_user
I will keep my ring on until there comes a time when I can let go. It has been a year and a half and I am not ready to let go. I can still feel him with me. We're still together in my heart and I don't want to give the impression that I am single because I am still in love with my wonderful husband and I am not ready to take off the ring that means so much to me. However, everyone is different...just do what feels right in your heart.
deleted_user
deleted_user
My husband just passed Feb 23, 2007. A co-worker told me the other day that I should move my rings to my right hand- I told her I would do that if and when I felt ready for it- I really don't think it is any of her business what I do and felt it was an intrusion to even say that-
deleted_user
deleted_user
My wife passed on 2/13 and my ring is just where it's been for the past 25 years. One day I'll take it off but wearing it still feels as natural to me as breathing.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I was wondering the same thing. I went to a friend of mine who is a jeweler and He suggested to wear the rings on the right hand and I could wear them there forever if I WANTED to. They have been there for 2 year now and I don't see taking them off in the near future
deleted_user
deleted_user
I lost my wedding ring somewhere in my house. I kept bugging Brian to get me a new one. The one I wear now is his and it will stay on me forefer.
deleted_user
deleted_user
It has only been two months for me, but I plan on wearing mine indefinitely. My husband used to give me a hard time when I took mine off to do the dishes, and eventually, it became a joke between us. Now I can think of that every time I look at my ring.
deleted_user
deleted_user
It's differnent with everyone. I only wore mine a few months. But I didn't date for 11 years. So, just do what feels right to you. Don't let anyone else tell you how to handle this. All this is sssoooo f8cking difficult, do what your heart tells you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Josh and I had lived together for five years know each other for 18. I found my engagement ring the day before the wake. I put it on and can't bear to take it off. He was my soul mate. I know I will neever love someone the same but I do hope to find love and have a family I am only 32. But that ring is a symbol of our love. Marriage is a state of mind, in my mind we are married for life. I think you have to do what is right for ou.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I still wear my wedding ring on my left hand and it's been almost 15 months. I did notice people have started to look at my left ring finger in an odd way now that we have passed the one year mark. I'm trying to not let what other people think get to me. Why should I take off my ring or move it to make someone else feel more comfortable? I'm uncomfortable not wearing the ring and it doesn't feel right on my right hand so it will stay on my left ring finger until it does feel right to take it off. I have no idea when that will be.
deleted_user
deleted_user
That is one thing that I have learned through all of this, You cannot worry about other people and what they think, you have to look out for yourself, because no one else is going to. You have to put yourself first. I hope one day to meet someone and have afamily of my own, I have always wanted children. I know I will never love someone like I loved Josh, It doesn't mean I won't lov that man, I will just love him differently but I think I will still wear Josh's ring - Maybe not on my left hand, but a piece of my heart will always belong to him. Take care of you - C.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am a firm believer in YOU WILL KNOW WHEN ITS RIGHT FOR YOU. I wondered the same thing! That is a sign it is not right yet. You will know. I am not wearing mine anymore on my left hand and not alll the time. Just when I feel cuz its pretty. You will know not someone else.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I found this to be a hard question to answer for myself too at first. I too wear Gus's ring on a chain around my neck. As far as my wedding ring. I kept it on over a year after he died. But I too felt alittle like I was living a lie and in the past. It just happened for me when a day came that I felt it was time to remove the ring from my wedding finger. Its not a typical wedding band so I am able to wear it on my other hand now and that where it will stay.

You will know when the time is right for you. Nobody can tell you when that will be. Perhaps you can think of something special to do with the rings when and if you decide to remove them. Maybe you can wear the ring on another finger or find a special keepsake box. Im sure there are things from your husband that you have saved ...cards and whatnot. Maybe you can make a special "memory" box or something where you keep all those special things.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I so hear what you are saying about "living a lie." I felt the same way. Surprisingly at the time I was contemplating this very issue, wondering if S. would think I didn't love him anymore and what others would think,the diamond fell out of my ring somewhere in my garden one morning. I took this as an answer from S. I still wore a birthstone ring on that finger for over a year then took that off my left hand. You have to do what is right for you and others just need to understand.
deleted_user
deleted_user
My wife of 27 years died 4 weeks ago. I wear her ring on my gold chain that she gave me. I recently had a chest xray...advised the tech of situation and advised that her ring would not ever come off until I died. They workrd around it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm wearing my husband's ring on my middle finger. He has given me several lovely rings so I take turns wearing one of them. I find I think about the good memories related to the piece I'm wearing and it gives me comfort.