Widows & Widowers Support Group

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How long to wear your wedding rings?

deleted_user
deleted_user
I am wondering about something. How long did any of you who lost your spouses wear your wedding rings after you lost your husband or wife and if you are still wearing them how long do you plan to wear them? Do you think it is OK to keep them on forever? And at the same time do you think it is OK to take them off and if so when? It is something I wrestle with lately because I feel like it is kind of like living a lie or living in the past and not being willing to move on with my life to keep them on and at the same time I feel like it is somehow a betrayal of Paul to take them off. I feel so confused. I do wear his ring on a gold chain around my neck and will continue to do so as that does not indicate to the world that I am something I am not.It does show perhaps what my situation really is.Does anyone have any feelings they can share on this. I really would appreciate some dialouge on it.My family is no help at all as they are so biased that they can't think logically.I look forward to some ideas from others in the same situation I am in. Thanks
deleted_user
deleted_user
I have Ted's ring on a chain I always wear and have no intention of taking off my ring. His ring is always there for me to hold and close to my heart. Our 30th anniversary is July 1 so it will be another milestone to deal with. I too can't imagine finding anyone else and don't want to. But we are all different and will handle this choice the best way we can. Hugs to everyone,
deleted_user
deleted_user
This has been the same question I have thought of. My husband has been gone 8 months and I almost think I need to take my ring off and I have tried but my finger feels so weird without it right now. I have been wearing his ring around my neck with my crucifix but my crucifix broke and now I am afraid the chain might break and I would lose his ring. I dont know what to do but everyone keeps saying you will know when the time is right.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think you will know when the time is right. I have Ted's right on a chain around my neck and it will never come off. I have my ring on and also bought a memorial ring " when I see you again" and a band I bought with our names on the same finger. Everyone is different, that includes age(s) and where we are in life and our needs. I don't for myself foresee anyone in my life. Ted was such an unforgetable, supportive presence that was such a part of my life when I met him and continued thoughout our 31 years together. I felt so complete and don't know if anything/anyone could bring some peace of mind to how I feel. Everyone is so different and you never know if that other chance might appear. Hugs
deleted_user
deleted_user
Typically a widowed spouse moves their ring to the opposite hand as an outward sign that they are open to prospective suitors. However there is no requirement to do this. A widow/widower may wear their wedding ring on their left hand for the rest of their lives if they wish.

A friend of mine took her wedding ring and had the stones put in a new setting when she decided a few years on to begin dating again. She knew her husband would have approved her continuing on in life, and she still felt she had something from her wedding set with her always.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I agree with Aseret, Ted and I had talked briefly about me finding someone, but I really feel I have no idea when that will be. Meanwhile, I have our ring on my left hand. He was such an awesome person I have no idea when or if that possibility could happen
deleted_user
deleted_user
I don't think my wedding ring will ever leave my hand.. I remember the day he gave it to me it was very special as was he....
deleted_user
deleted_user
My husband had died 2 months ago, so I still wear my wedding rings, and I wear his ring on the middle finger of my right hand. The only finger it fit. Around my neck I wear Our mitpah ( a jewish heart in 2 parts, one for you and one for your loved one to protect you when you are out of sight of each other) and I wear the gift I gave him right before our wedding, a lovely gold Russian orthodox cross. I have no plans to remove any of them. Amy
deleted_user
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My wedding and engagement rings will never leave my hand. I don't believe that I will ever be open to another suitor! I wear Carlos' wedding band around my neck on a gold chain with a cross that I gave him for his birthday some years ago. I was just looking at the ring the other day - there are three small diamonds on a titanium band - we were only able to celebrate three wedding anniversaries together. The irony of it all made me horribly sad.
deleted_user
deleted_user
My husband Chris was killed on April 13, 2008. We had only been married for 4 1/2 months. He was killed a month before our Honeymoon.
Luckily, his ring was recovered from the accident. I'm still wearing both of my rings, and am wearing his ring on my other hand, held in place by some of my smaller rings...that actually fit my finger.

I designed my own engagement ring, and am therefore doing something creative with our wedding bands. It's really hard and sad for me to wear them, to look at them and all that they represented that will never be. Therefore, I'm melting our two wedding bands together to form a pendant that I am designing. Our rings were something that was special to both of us, and now this pendant represents a new beginning, and will hopefully stop the feelings of sadness that I have when I look at our rings, and know that I'm now a widow.
deleted_user
deleted_user
It has been almost six months for me, and I am still wearing my rings. I still feel married to Jack and feel that the vows went beyond " till death do us part." I think I will eventually know when the time comes if it ever does.
deleted_user
deleted_user
FOREVER
deleted_user
deleted_user
John and i never had the chance to get to our wedding date but we had our rings made they are our own design with our names engraved on them being he knew he wasnt going to make it the day we picked up our rings he asked me if we could wear them,we put them on and two weeks later he was gone i now wear both rings mine on my ring finger and his on my middle finger of my left hand the way the sit our names touch and that is where they will stay forever
deleted_user
deleted_user
I agree in that we are all different as far as when the time is right. I lost my husband 9 months ago, and have recently starting wearing the ring on my right hand. I always wore my family ring there so I switched them. This way I still have a ring on my left hand that has great meaning to me, but at the same time I feel I am moving on somewhat. The ring is just a symbol, if I wear it or not it does not change my love for my husband, I will always have that and my memories.
deleted_user
deleted_user
My husband died Feb 23, 2007 and I am still wearing my wedding set - just on the opposite hand which is what I was told by a coworker was the correct thing to do. I love my diamonds and do not plan on removing them. I have dated but to tell the truth havent found anyone worthy of even thinking of removing my rings for if they dont like it tough. In any case I like them so I intend on wearing them. I had his rings melted down into a charm that I wear around my neck - Together forever - is what it says
deleted_user
deleted_user
Well my husband has been gone it will be 2 months on Sept. 17th. I don't know maybe I am just ready to move on. I wear my diamond on my right hand, because I love my diamonds. I am ready to put the past behind me and get on with my life.