My name is Jo and I lost my sweet George in September of 2010. He died from a heart attack. We were married for 36 wonderful years and I just hate trying to go on without him. I read a lot here and it does bring me some comfort. Sorry I don't post much, I feel so bad some days I hate to spread the misery! Hugs to you all, Jo

Hi to everyone Carolynn
I live in Calgary Alberta
I lost my husband on April 18 2011 after a horrific six week battle with cancer of the esophagus. Still reeling from the pain. Thank you for being there

Hello. I'm Karie and I'm in Oregon. I lost my husband Derek on 2/22/12 to sCJD (trust me, you don't want to google just know it's brain related and always fatal and if you do look it up, it was not MC). We were together for 10 1/2 years, married for 5 1/2 years and had known each other since 1995.

I haven't been on here much recently.

Take care.

I'm Diane Moonflyer...

I lost my precious Greg on Feb 3rd 2011. I found this group early on and it was the single best thing I did for myself back then. I have made the most amazing trusted friendships of my life here. I do not know where I would be without finding this group when I did.

I do not post anymore, but do read when I can. Stay with each other, SUPPORT each other and ENCOURAGE each other. Through the single worst thing that can ever happen to anyone in this life, the gift you get from each other, lifting each other when you think you cannot take another step, and celebrating each other when you have accomplished that first outing, that first shower, that first SMILE. I can tell you that it WILL happen. I did for me through all the support I have gotten here.

The holidays are such a hard time, and no matter how far along, we all fall. We all hurt, and we all miss our loves and the way it used to be. I know I do. But please know that although you will always miss them as I miss my sweet Greg, you will want to LIVE and BREATHING won't be an effort...it will just be. you will laugh again, you will remember them mixed with both smiles and tears.The tears will be more of gratitude for what was while looking at what is..the legacy they leave that we get to love and cherish as they would have.

I'm sorry I don't get ton post much, but know that someone who started on this journey and did not know how to take one step, is still standing, and still walking...sometimes even running...

I wish you all PEACE, and I wish you JOY...most of all I wish you love. Love of family and love of yourself, the way They will ALWAYS love you...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WApFcev4p40..i was the crazy one who thought a song could help....I still do and take strength from it....

I'm Dianne. I'm 62 and live in Oregon. I met my hubby Ken in 1969-he was 19 & I was 18. 9 days later he was in basic training, then went to Ft. Lee for job training. He came home on leave Nov. 7th, proposed and then left for Vietnam on Nov. 30. Fourteen months later he came home and we got married 4 months later-June 1971. He began having Agent Orange issues around 1984 and became totally disabled in 1992. He had multiple diseases which each came on gradually. Most were Agent Orange related. On Aug. 20,2012 at 1:20 AM he woke me up, he couldn't breathe. I called 911 & started CPR. Ten minutes later the EMT came in & he was dead. He died of esophogeal cancer that closed off his breathing and he suffocated. Yes, the VA agreed it was Agent Orange related. So I have been a widow for almost 4 months now and I'm doing pretty well. Yes, I cry and feel sad sometimes but I'm trying to make a new normal for myself. I no longer have to give him meds every 4 hours or blend his food. I'd rather have him here though, our 41 years of marriage were good. I'm volunteering and doing as much outside the house as I can.

hello this is soberfantasy I'm 42 I lost my Rob 3 days ago to liver failure and feel like I'm dying myself. We were together for 12 yrs married for 11 we had 5 kids 2 from a previous relationship that he loved as his own 21 and 22 and then our 3 little boys. Our only daughter married in October and he actually got to walk her, he was so excited. He passed a day after our 11 yr olds bday after they all got to say goodbye. My little 3 year old keeps saying he is going to give daddy lots of kisses when we go to the hospital feels like a knife is being twisted in my heart. I am here because I know I can find others that understand my pain.

I'm Marilyn

I live in a suburb of Chicago

My husband Pat died a little more than 3 years ago and I found this site not long after that. It is hard to believe it has been this long.

He had heart disease and liver disease.

Hello Everyone! I'm so glad we're doing this since I just found this wonderful group in May 2012! I'm 52 and live in SC. I lost the love of my life, best friend and soulmate Al on May 2, 2012 from Agent Orange related lung cancer. He was a very vibrant, happy, healthy man until being diagnosed on January 5, 2012 with the Stage III lung cancer. He made me the happiest I have ever been in my entire life and my world fell apart on January 5, 2012 when he was diagnosed with lung cancer! This was for both of us our second marriage and we have a "his, hers and ours" blended family. We share one beautiful 7 year old daughter who was the "apple of her daddy's eye!" He sure did want to see her grow up but it just wasn't meant to be! I knew from the first date we had that he would be the man I would marry and share my life with! I fell in love "hard and fast!" We dated for 6 years and we were married 7 years, together a total of 13 too short years. We wanted more - much more! He was already retired when we married in Honolulu, Hawaii - my dream wedding - barefoot and on the beach at sunset. I retired in 2009 so that we could move into our RV and travel the world. We did just that for 3 wonderful, glorious years - homeschooling our daughter as we traveled. I wouldn't trade those beautiful best 3 years of my life for anything! My darling husband made every dream I ever had in my life come true and the pain and hurt of him not being here with me and my daughter is oh so hard this first holiday season! But, I know he would want me to go forward, be strong for our sweet little girl and our other children - so that is what I am trying to do. Some days are better than others, but I will say that this site has been part of my strength! Thank you to all for being there at 4:00 am on those mornings when I could barely type for crying so! You are all so special and have been such a huge part of my life these last 8 months! I have a strong faith and I know that God is working in mine and the little one's lives right now. Through His grace, we shall get through the darkest days! Bless you all and my wish for you all this season is peace and contentment with wherever you may be in your journey on this earth!

Hello I am Mark. My Wife Christine did 30 August. She had a 3 year battle with stage 4 colon cancer. I am from Maryland
I like this group. You reallty understand the myriad emotions all mixed up together, and the fog of grief.
God Bless you All.

I'm monnow, Monica. My husband Richard died on 2-2-09 seven weeks and one day after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. We met when I was 16 and he was 21. I was 55 and he 60 when he passed. I do not post much, but read often. Found DS just before the first anniversay of Richard's passing. I live in northwest Indiana

Hi, I'm Jeni and I am new to the group.

I'm 24 years old and lost my husband Aaron, 3 years ago to bone cancer (July 16th, 2009). He died 34 days after our wedding and I've missed him every day since.

Hello, I am Pat from California. I loss my husband 7 months ago overseas during the last days of his business trip, sudden death? It is such a shock to me, I blocked out much of the memories in order to cope.

Hi I'm Bernard from West Orange NJ. I lost my Angel Maria on 5-23-12 to ovarian cancer that spread to her brain then her liver all in the span of 4 1/2 months. 4 major operations 3 being brain surgeries and 15 whole brian radiation treatments after 2 chemo treatments her body was done. We were together for 16 incredible years she was only 46. I am thankful for DS as i just started reading and posting. Thank You all God Bless

Hi my name is John.

I lost my wife and my best friend of over 19 years on April 24,2012. She was diagnosed with esophageal and colon cancer. I don't post very much but get support from reading all the other posts.

I'm Brenda
From MN. Dont post here much anymore. Lost my dear Husband 2/19/11 to Liver Cancer just 5 months after DX. I learned how to take each day from this group. Its a learning process and I pray each and everyone of you keep faith that life does get better and your love of your spouse is always next to you and will forever be with you until you meet again. God Bless