Alicia,
If you still have some communication you may want to read Marriage Fitness by Mort Fertel. Its a good book about how to develop a relationship. It was a little gushy writing wise for my taste but overall it gave me some insight into my role in my relationship. the hardest relization was that for some reason or another I viewed love as conditional and I thought no one would be understanding of me and my fears and weakness so lying seemed like a real alternative. The pathetic part is that I would always give everyone a break so basically I expect less from others than I expect from myself, when ultimately the people who love me are stronger that I am. I do believe that I can change that and as long as we are willing to work on ourselves we can change.

Tom

Hi everyone, This is Alicia again.. still a liar.. Sigh.
Mike, yes I still have some dialog with him which helps, but it's always so emotional... he doesn't trust me anymore and rightfully so. I caught myself lying to him again yesterday, even in my battle to win him back, I stopped myself from carrying it out and told him the truth. Which I suppose is a start... he was still hurt again though. Why do I do this... I don't lie to anyone else, not like this anyways... I think it's because I'm scared of how he might react to certian things I tell him, because he does tend to over-react sometimes, and I just don't want to lose him. But as I'm lying I pull back from the lie because I feel bad, so I know that i'm not going to get away with it. I just make it worse, when maybe he would have over-reacted in the first place but he would have settled down, where-as this is all on me.. and me lying to him makes him feel so worthless... why do I do that when I love him so much? Sigh.
Tom, thank you for the recommendation, I will look into that book.
I need to change, and I need to prove to him that I can... Please help, I feel so disappointed and mad at myself.

I'm Mike and I'm a liar.

Today marks the end of 3 full weeks for me without lying. Every day is a separate battle, but each day seems to get a tiny bit easier....

Alicia, I've been there. All I can say is that no matter how bad you might fear the reaction to something, you may be pleasantly surprised when its nowhere near as bad as you think. I was in the same place as you fearing a reaction when the fear ended up being groundless. Sure, its no fun to be on the receiving end of anger, but its nothing compared to what you feel when you hurt the one you love. If dialog exists, and he loves you or cares about you, he will eventually support and help you with your problem.

Stay strong everyone...

Hello. I am Greg, and I am a liar. Well, here I am again, and it is now two weeks without a lie. I am just starting to regain the good feeling I had about being honest I had before the last lie. Telling that one lie made me feel the same as when I first joined this site. Onward we go with the struggle. Mike's comments about regarding the fear and presumptions about how people will react are so true. I look back now and examine how folks reacted when I told them what I honestly thought or felt, and no matter what the situation, their reaction was nowhere near what I imagined. Quite often it would even be the opposite of what I thought. The bottom line is just be honest. You will feel better about yourself, and the reaction you get will be one based on your honesty, not a lie. Alicia, I hope that you can gain strength from reading these replies, and seeing how we all have shared very similar experiences. Mike is right when he said that it is no fun being on the receiving end of anger, but this is a stage that we must go through as a consequence of our past lies. There is no avoiding it if you want to truly change. My wife and I are trying to deal with my history of lies, and it is very difficult. She has so much anger within her, that it seems like we will never get past it. This is entirely of my doing, and I can't hide away from it. We are still together, but it is very fragile. I keep the hope alive, but today is a tough one. Reading all of your posts does give me strength to keep on the path of honesty.
Hope all of you have a good day!

I'm Mike and I'm a liar

Back to square one, again. Something stupid and trivial, but a lie is a lie is a lie. So, hopefully tomorrow will be day one....

Stay strong everyone.

I'm Mike and I'm a liar

Today marks the beginning of day 4 for my current streak. So far so good, as long as I just keep remembering what the goal is and what I'm trying to accomplish.

Stay strong everyone....

My name is MC. I have lied for a long time not with everything in my life just certain things. I'm not trying to make excuses but I had a stroke at birth and am wondering if this has anything to do with the fact that I lie in my life... I want a clean life just not sure where to start!

I'm Mike and I'm a liar

Today marks the end of day 9 for me.

Where is everyone? NO POSTS IN 5 DAYS??? What, we've all got a handle on our problems? I know its a constant struggle for me. I'm in this till the very end.

Stay strong everyone...

My name is Laura O and I'm a Compulsive Liar. It's been 4 days since I've lied. But I did partially come clean. It's a start, or a re-start I should say. Glad to see so many people checking in daily.

I'm Mike and I'm a liar

Today begins day 13 for me. Stay strong everyone...

Hi, I'm Jeff, I am a liar. Definitely the only honest thing I've said all day.

Hey everyone, I'm Alicia and it's been about 2 weeks since I last lied.. but I'm still dealing with the consequences of all of my other lies, and I still feel the struggle to say the truth sometimes.. I don't know why I feel the tug to tell a lie.. when most of the time it is over something stupid and small... its probably because I feel like I will get a bad reaction and the truth won't be believed anyways because of my lies in the past... but I guess I just have to deal with it, suck it up and keep telling the truth, and someday things will get better again.. I am encouraged reading everyones thoughts.. thank you guys :) everyone hang in there.. one day at a time..

Hi, my name is Simon, and I am a compulsive liar, I have been abstinent from lying for about 3 weeks.

Hi my name is Dennis, I am a liar I can't remember the last time I was honest. I'm not even sure if I remember how to be I need allot of help with this and have no idea where to turn

Hello I am new here and my name is Isaac and I haven't lied since earlier today. This is such a huge problem I have dealt with since childhood and I am ready to be rid of it.