Run, don't walk from this one. He's broke because he lives beyond his means. Probably has maxed out or even bad credit. He doesn't like questions because he doesn't like the answers. He's not fit to be in a relationship and life is too short to try to "fix" these losers.

I met my " fiancée" on match . We moved way too fast for a healthy relationship . Because of rather complicated living circumstances for me , I moved into his house after a month or two . At about the year point , I was finally getting to know the real man . He has many awful issues in his life which affect me , most of all he is a loner , and doesn't know how to peacefully deal with even small problems we have without storming off ! He is stubborn , a know it all and can be very nasty . Additionally , I am a very affectionate woman who craves caresses , hugs and kisses . This is foreign to him and hates the caress . He calls it petting as in petting your animal , so I feel deprived and hurt and empty quite often . Please take it slow and follow your instincts !!! I wish I did . Now I am basically stuck in a relationship that leaves me sad quite often . Because I am relatively new to the area I haven't made one girlfriend , am severely disabled especially from the aftermath of fracturing my spine in his broken down farmhouse and can no longer drive from PTSD after a near death crash over 25 years ago. He says he is a man of his word but I have seen many examples that he can be very unrealistic about his own values . Please , please go slow and date as many men as you are interested in on match . Reach out and contact men yourself also . It's definitely a 2 way street that can produce great results if you are patient . I don't think the man you have mentioned might be the one so move on and enjoy . These type of websites are often the only way of meeting a potential mate anymore so have fun with it ! If you have any questions for me about my other experience with dating sites feel free to contact me . One of the reasons I have rejoined DS is to try to get advice and wisdom for my own troubled relationship . Extra good luck to you !!!!

Thank you MSH. I am not even talking to that guy anymore and have moved on. I sure hope you can get out of your situation.

Agree with ClearDay1-RUN!!

A lot of people here left good advice. It sounds to me like you are interested in him at least enough to wonder whether to see him again, or not to--if not you probably wouldn't have asked, you'd just have chalked it up to another date w/no chemistry and not seen him again.

There is some controversy in the online dating community about who pays for first meets and dates. People have some pretty firm ideas either way. I am wondering ... 1. What is your philosophy on who pays for the first meet? 2. What is your philosophy on who pays on dates after that? 3. Did he pay for the first-meet?

It sounds like he is certainly interested in you. If he paid for the first-meet, maybe saying he wants to get together again, but is broke, is his habit for finding out whether a new gal is the type who readily pays half the time, OR if she's the type who won't go out if he isn't planning to pay each time, or at least most of the time.

You are younger than I (I'm 59 now) so expectations for your age group may be different. I met new fellows online thru dating sites and started dating at age 51. I was never able to find men in their 50s who didn't have money issues -- yet not a one of them ever saw that as a roadblock to dating or trying to have a serious relationship with the woman either just going without, or footing at least half of every date (or paying half the time). I actually could not AFFORD to date anymore, so gave up on it at age 56.

Date while you are still of an age where there are some quality men out there, and look for the ones who work and who have some money to treat you special. There are many folks who will disagree with me, but I'm telling you that men simply don't put as high a value on a woman they don't have to impress. You don't have to say yes to someone who says he's broke, unless you are okay with that happening 50% of the time.

p.s. I think by 'dry' he meant something similar to a word used in the counseling world when someone is hard to read because they don't register emotion on their face or in their body language or tone of voice: 'flat'. You probably just come across a little formal when you don't know someone, nothing wrong with that, it can take time to open up and feel natural with someone.

JeanaRose OTM is no longer seeing this guy. Also I would think guys in their fifties should be more financially stable by that point.

Yeah he is gone, LOL! and I am very animated when I talk, so I have no idea what he meant and at this point I don't care! LOL!

I met my husband of 3 years now (6 years together) on Match.com! There are some real stinkers on there, and believe me, I went through a lot of them before meeting my now husband. We have a great relationship and marriage, and I couldn't be happier. That said, I had many uncomfortable encounters with men I found prior to him and would question myself and the man. From my experience, you are either comfortable with the other person and things are smooth and give you those butterflies, or you aren't. Period. I wouldn't waste my time on him....seems like things just aren't quite right. He sounds like he might be a little insecure, and you don't sound like the type of person (I could be wrong) who would be willing to deal with that - I'm certainly not! Is he recently divorced or maybe a serial dater???

Just read up on the thread and noticed that you aren't seeing him anymore - CONGRATS! You did yourself a favor, believe me. :-) Good luck in the hunt and have fun! If you aren't having fun, move on!

I would agree that the first time you meet someone isn't the time to ask a barrage of personal questions. He felt like he was being interviewed because he was being interviewed. That sort of information should come out naturally, over the period of a few weeks, not on a first date. Get to know someone a bit more online before committing to meeting in person and it will save you a lot of aggravation.

Personally, I found dating sites and blind dates to be horrendous. So glad I quit them. They are dangerous and humiliating. I also do not like when strangers ask me "how many times were you married?" or similar "interview" questions. I looked for a boyfriend around my apt. bldg. and when I went food shopping. That way, right off the bat I could see if we found each other's appearance pleasing, and whether or not we felt the social interaction could work. Nothing beats a casual forum to observe each other, rather than looking at profiles (which are often lies anyway) and then sitting through really awkward first dates.

So asking someone what they like to do for fun or if they exercise, if they like concerts is too personal? I don't think so.

I agree LW, I am so sick of the dating sites.

I think you have to just be who you are, and if being who you are means asking questions to try to get someone to give you an inkling of who they are, then I say ask away. Had he been an easy to talk to, out going person, then the conversation is more organic where it doesn't feel like an interview. I just think this guy wasn't a good fit for you, and had nothing to do with you asking him questions about himself.

The first date or two with someone IS an interview.

And that's where people differ in opinion. If the first date IS an interview for you, it's not an interview for many others. There are tactful ways of finding things out about people without interviewing them; it's called the art of conversation. Good conversation leads people to finding things out about people in a dignified, respectful way, without prying. When you ask pointed questions to someone you don't know well, you're putting them on the spot, and that verges on rudeness. They may not be comfortable disclosing personal information right off the bat. A level of trust must be formed before it's reasonably acceptable to ask prying questions of that sort. Asking someone what they like to do for fun, if they go to concerts or whether they exercise, is completely different than asking how many marriages they've had, etc.

I find that people who ask personal, prying questions of this sort, right off the bat, can come across as indignant and desperate to get to the finish line. The reason you may be, "so sick of the dating sites," is you're rushing to meet with them in a public setting, which can be unnerving. Meeting a would-be suitor over coffee after a few chats is probably an ineffective way of getting to know someone.

Perhaps this gent was not well-suited to you, but I just wanted to say that taking the fast-track approach by asking personal questions right away, can sometimes send compatible candidates the other way.