Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
So "M" and I have been dating a litle over 2 months now and I have fallen for him hook-line-and sinker.
But, I think he is losing interest. Yet he won't come right out and tell me.
He is a very busy man, he works full time as a guidance counselor at a College, he runs a non-profit and he goes around and does programs about drunk driving. He is writing a book and he just co-wrote a book that he was also asked to do the forward for. So I have been really good about giving him the time he needs to get his stuff done. I never pressure him to get together or anything like that. We are both actually very good to each other. This past weekend he came over Friday night and then left Saturday around 12:30 to head home and work on his stuff. He stayed home and watched a football game, he did not invite me over, but I figured well he needs time alone too, then Sunday he went to a friends for another football game. From Saturday morning until late last night he has ONLY texted me no phone calls.
Last night at like 10pm he texted me good night and I waited for a bit then wrote back that I was feeling sad because for the past 3 days I have only received texts from him, he immediately called me and we ended up talking for almost 40 minutes, he told me he really likes me but he feels bad because he cannot give me the time and attention I deserve. He said he is not good at telling people what is going on with him. I told him he need to communicate to me better so that I don't automatically think the worst. He agreed.
This morning he texted me just a very plain good morning, no hearts or smiley faces, he said he has been up since 4am and could not sleep after our conversation. I told him I was very sorry and that I wish I could help. I also said that he needs to know I have fallen for him hook-line and sinker and that I want him to be happy so if me leaving him alone for a few days would help that I will do that for him.
Is he just feeding me a line of crap to try to get out of this gracefully? Without hurting my feelings?
I am supposed to be working right now but instead I am sitting on my couch crying and typing.
-
The weeks seem to fly by!Happy Saturday to everyoneI hope that the weekend brings some chill time and barbecuesDoes it take others what seems like forever to add a comment on the boards?I'm okay everywhere else except boards..Everywhere else adds normally but it's annoyingly slow!Have a great Saturday and do something nice for you!!Big hug...xo
-
I'm feeling down,, and got alot on my mind right now. I got grief going on, on top my depression and anxiety and now I got to worry about somewhere to live since I can't afford living here since my mom passed. So many bad things have happened since my mom passed. One thing after another it seems. Yesterday our fence fell from a storm that hit, had to call someone to prop it up. Thank...
The more you have in your life the more full and rounded a person you are. The more desirable you are.
You got this, have faith. Let him come to you, stop chasing him! Keep busy.
I say this with love. You are so lovely. Brood on something other than him!
:)
I agree obsessing over whether or not there is a problem may be borrowing trouble as there doesn't seem to be one.... I hope you enjoy the sprinkles!!
"Am heading to bed soon, just wanted to say thank you for your patience with me R, you have a great heart and spirit. Good Night"
I thought that was so kind and so sweet.
Maybe he really does like me, perhaps he does want to hang on to this?
This morning texts like he normally would, he is traveling today so he texted me from airport.
But I honestly don't feel that way at all.
And I feel I have not reason to be mean to him and tell him to get lost. He is being nice to me, but eventually he does need to address the issue. He seems to have trouble with intimacy. He would rather joke around and act like nothing is wrong. He can't keep doing that.
If you're waiting around it's not because of him. It's because you choose to wait around. Doesn't sound like that's what you're doing. So what are they even talking about?
You're letting your friends create chaos in your thinking where there doesn't need to be chaos. If you're giving your power away to anyone, it's to them. Sorry I'm dogging your friends but sometimes when you mention what they're saying to you about your relationships, I wonder if they like you in this position, to be the friend who is the project friend, the one they have to fix, who always has guy problems. All that is for them is a distraction from their boring, mundane existence. They need to give you more credit, and just support what you decide, not constantly imply you are blind to the realities of men and relationships.
You have to really listen to your self and what makes sense to you. If you're uncertain about things, it's better to just let things sit and see how it goes, see how it feels TO YOU, than create additional drama by looping in your friends and letting their influence make you second guess every single thing you seem to know to be true with this man, given the short time you've known him.
Yes, my one friend has never dated, she has known her husband since she was 10 years old, they got married at 18 and they are now 55 and 57 years old. So she has NO clue. But I had shown her the text he sent last night which I thought was sweet and she said "Oh so you're going to just sit and let him make the decisions about whether he has time for you or not?" I said "No, I'm not doing anything"
You all have seen many of my posts about different guys, I have dated a LOT of assholes, I truly do not believe he is one. He seems the most normal and healthy by far so far. I am not going to just completely walk away until I hear what he has to say. I think he is worth at least that much.
My friend I mentioned thinks he is selfish.
Guilting "M" into calling you with your "I'm so sad b/c you have only sent me texts" is the ultimate in passive aggressive behavior! The man has a life to live. I do believe once you have a life of your own, you will not be so dependent on the love/affection/attention of others to feel good about yourself.
I apologize if this is blunt, but I have been following your relationships for several years now. The cycle is the same. Bad guy, break up, "I'm gonna work on myself", find a nice guy, "wow the sex is great, I think I'm in love", you make him your "everything" and because he doesn't make you his "everything", he is "selfish" and a bad guy. Then you go through the cycle again, this time with a needy, co-dependent (80's guy ring a bell). You live your life thru men, not thru your own actions.
A very smart woman once told me that if I wanted to find true happiness in life, I should work on filling hole in my soul/heart rather than filling the hole between my legs with another man.