EXACTLY what Rman said.

So Rbabby, it's not my fault he found time to fuck some whore while I was either working my ass off or home with his kids?

I have healed tremendously..thank you very much to many but you...BM...I'm here to pay it forward and hopefully, engage in my next adventure in life.

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LOL, shoot. i was home raising his kids while he was off drinking every night and probably worse, too. I guess I should look within!!! WTF is wrong with me? I must be terrible... lol. Thanks, BM! I will keep searching for what I did wrong...I force people to drink excessively...... when I am not even there! I have super powers..

OMG! I NEVER said that... and let's just make something very clear here. I was hurt deeply by my husband, he checked out on life, did drugs, cheated, abandoned the family, you name it. None of that was my fault, but that doesn't mean I didn't make my own mistakes. NONE of you wears a badge of honor on hurt. We have all been hurt. I NEVER said take responsibility for what they did wrong, if you look back I said take a look at yourself, heal and grow. If you focus on the past, you piss all over the present and the future.

Many of you are stuck in a place wear you can't see anything but the hurt and bitterness. I get it, I've been hurt, deeply depressed. SO NOW WHAT? That's what I'm saying. Jesus, there comes a time to pull your head out of you butt and take care of yourself. Pull yourself up by the bootstraps and move forward. The longer you sit and mope about the asshole that hurt you or the bitch that cheated, the more power they have over you.

If you want to stay in that place, go ahead. I was trying to be supportive of growth and moving forward not looking back at the event. YOU KNOW, WHATEVER YOU FOCUS ON GETS BIGGER! A lot of folks on here are angry and want someone to kick. Resentment and bitterness gets you no where in life. WE are all here to support and love eachother through a rough time. Not to chew eachother up and spit them out.

Okay...let's just put this thing to rest and call it a good debate. This is a support group, not a battle zone. I think if we wanted to fight, then we would get in another bad relationship.
Truce.

If you read our journals, you would see we ARE growing and we ARE changing and we are fucking picking ourselves up every single day! There is nothing wrong with venting here, among MOSTLY friends.. geeeeeez! It doesn't mean we are NOT growing. So many here have come so far. You are judging and you're incorrect about us.

THANK YOU! Sorry if I offended anyone, was not my intent.

I am thru the hurt. I have gotten to a better place where I have forgiven my Ex. She cheated on me, abandoned me, ripped me off in the divorce. She was subtly abusive while we were married. She was controlling, and dishonest. All this said, I wasn't a saint either. I have come to a better place. I know what I want in the future. I also have taken the time to see where I could have made my marriage a better marriage. I recognize my abuses for what they were and take ownership of them. I was a prick sometimes. I had my own issues. And, I helped in creating the dysfunctional reality that was our marriage. Par of healing has been to see me for who I was, and see her for who she was. No blame. No excuses. Just acknowledgment.

I don't read journals, I find journals personal...

None of us truly knows one another too personally. But truth be told, we all have the right to say what we want as long as it's not abusive and hurtful to others. I was not abusive or hurtful to any of you. I was simply stating growth starts with us, keep focusing on the a hole that hurt you, and they keep the power over you. If you want to waste your time doing that, knock yourself out.

How's that working for ya?

BM - if you are healed, why are you here? To judge us for lagging behind your time table?

When I'm on DS I can vent or laugh or do whatever I want. You have no idea what I'm doing in my real life.

And you may not approve (I don't care) but I will blame my stbx FOR-FUKKING-EVER.

Peace out.................

BrokenChild, good for you. That's what I'm talking about. At least someone gets what I'm trying to say. I'm not here to fight, if others want to be bitter and stay that way, that's their problem. I choose not to.

And why am I here, to support, to love, to hold eachother up and not to enable. Some folks don't like that. Tough.

wow this got deep..

BoricuaMami -
you mention in this post you are not being abusive but in the first paragraph you say "its the same people saying the same bullshit". calling someones feelings bullshit doesn't sound like you are trying to play nice??

i copied the post here in case you cant find it.

" LOL! I have come on this site for a year now on and off and it's a lot of the same people saying the same BS. Not necessarily all of you but I see no growth from many folks on here. It's just a place where they can be angry and blame. Everyone has been hurt on this site... but there is a time to start looking forward and stop looking back.

Growth is part of healing... and just as all of you have the right to say what you want to, so do I. But at least I'm not being abusive in what I am saying. I am simply saying, growth starts with you. And don't fool yourself into thinking I have not been hurt, I have been deeply hurt, but I don't take it out on everyone else on this site.

I am not being holier than thou, I am being honest. "