Throughout our marriage i ALWAYS made more money. I worked a few different jobs when we first got here just so we could live and then when he finally was able to work he got a pretty good job.

Work wasn't a problem for me... the fact that I made more money then him was... it pissed him off that I was home and I would make dinner and take care of him and I still brought home more money.

what killed us (other than the affairs and violence) was the fact that he couldn't separate his friendship with his buddies and me... if I wasn't one of the guys with him then I had no part in his life. If I didn't sit and play Halo for hours with him and the "dudes" then I didn't see him at all. If I didn't sit with them then why the hell wasn't I waiting on them hand and food... making them food and drinks and practically rubbing their feet!

I wasn't a wife to him... I was a punching bag and a waiter... then when he got drunk a warm body to screw when he didn't have some chippy on the side!

not my idea of a marriage

I hate to say this but you had a good thing going there, then you took it all back. You actually started to own some responsibility for your own crap and then took it all back by blaming the psycho wife.

Let's all be honest here folks, none of us is perfect. We all come with baggage and we all played a part in the failure of the relationship. Whether it was by who we chose or how we did or did not contribute is irrelevant.

I am so tired of people who point the finger of blame in the other direction, while never taking a good long hard look at themselves. Perhaps we should all start with ourself, and back off the partner. Maybe, just maybe, each one of us has our own growth and change to do. The more you blame the other person, the less you grow and the more doomed you are to repeat the same stupid ass behavior. Grow up!

Sorry, just tired of excuses I hear from so many people.

nice

40, maybe we shouldn't take a good look at ourself, who knows what we can see.

I don't think anyone said they were perfect. Some of us here are truly dealing with psychos...I invite you to date my STBX...he is available....I dare anyone to go out with him for a few months and tell me he is lovely and it is my fault. Some of the wives of ppl here take the cake, too.....just awful.

I am not sure where you are coming from with this.

Why don't say what can be done insteed of what should?

I guess it's the excuse police without knowing all the facts?

police is tired of us *giggles*

I worked hard, I made more money. I cooked, cleaned, treated him like a king. it was all about him. I supported his dreams, I cheered him. I lent him money to see his dying mom, to go to the funeral. i helped him pay his taxes. I chershed him. He was psycho, all about him and was never committed to the marriage.

when his depression took over, he decided he was out of the marriage. no commitment at all to me or the marraige, would not go to the doctor for us. I gave it all, he could not even do that.

My mistake to give so much and in return not recieve anything. only aggravation, abuse, cheating......and most hurtful, no appreciation at all at my commitment to him, in spite of all his emotional problems.

I don't see anyone jumping to date my stbx.....it's a shame....oh, and by the way, he will leave in the middle of the date and say "it's work" and not come home until 3 am drunk.... his phone will be turned off the entire time. Yeah, excuses... what a joke.

my mistake was staying as long as I did, but I have a kid with a disability who needed me..

I am dating your stbx, hiker :p

((((((Nova))))))) I'll send flowers....

I think I can honestly say at this point, if anyone dates my stbx, they'll get the same thing I got. Deserted when things get tough. After a father figure, an uncle, and a brother died in my family in the space of six months, she checked out of the marriage like it was a weekend affair. I try to hope she becomes a better person, but without profound and significant change, she'll stay who she is.

In response to Boricua...reply 37.
I did blame my self for what I did wrong. It seems as though you want me to blame getting dumped on myself. You have been trying to make this point for the past week, but all I am hearing is that you want DS members to simply blame everything on themselves. Well, it ain't gonna happen. How can it when it is not true? I started the post by saying I work too much. I do. I ended it with saying my wife is psycho. She is. That's it. I went to college and got a degree. Unfortunately, I have to work two jobs to make ends meet. My wife hates that fact and basically says that I am a loser because I can't find one job that pays 120k plus. Oh yeah, did I mention that she has punched me in the face on several occasions and that I have never laid a hand on her? So, blame myself...nope. I'll admit my wrongs, but I am not going to lie and say this crap is my fault. Believe it or not. Good debate, though...