Couldn't have said it better myself Jo. Shut your mouth on this topic Heave...take it from those of us that have been there.

To be honest with everyone.....I just don't see how people do some of the things that they do. How can someone think that they have the right to alter someone else's life forever when they do something like that?

Anyway....seriously...I really do value my DS family here and I am so sorry if I have offended people....everyone.

I sent you a hug, Heave, get educated by people like me who care, peace out.

Thank you.

Um...Heave?? Just a question what do you consider rape? Is it only women who can be raped or can women rape men? (being a cop and all figured your the guy to ask) There are agencies set up for female rape victims are there any for men??

This thread went way wrong I see...

However, to all of you ladies that have been raped, you have my heart. I considered myself raped by me ex also.. Of course nothing happened to him, but,, it still happened. Notice I said I "considered" myself raped... the police did not agree, because he was my husband. Yes, I had the bruises and the torn flesh, but it did not matter to the officers.

Now, not taking sides to this at all, cause I have also been on both sides. I am an investigator and yes, women really do file false reports to get out of trouble with their spouses and fathers! That is a horrible thing to do, but yes, it does happen! When investigating these type of alligations, in one case, the man that was accused of the crime was actually in the military and was 100's of miles away at the time of the "rape". It was verifiable..... The "lady" in question didn't get her facts straight before she made the alligation. Needless to say she is now divorced!

Ok I'm really really scared to do this, but, having read the discussion very carefully this morning (mmm 2 cups of strong coffee), I cannot resist the urge to comment on this discussion - purely from the standpoint of what I hope is an objective observer on the conversation, how the arguments were made, and how it evolved. If you strip away the emotion, this was one hell of a debate. I learned a lot and found it provocative and enlightening.

First of all, the ones who have been victims or work in rape crisis centers - Anne and Joan - deserve all the credibility that we can give (we're all taking a leap of faith - it's the Internet, not a face-to-face meeting). I believe what they say wholeheartedly. I also believe the statistics that Joan provided, and I believe Anne's story without question. Given the experiences that those two women have endured, it is no surprise that they reacted the way they did. They are entitled, and their reactions were entirely warranted.

But... I have to say a few things about Heave. First, and this is somewhat nitpicking - dude, learn how to spell "statistics" - yes, you're a cop and risking your life doesn't require knowing how to spell, but you are actually a pretty good writer and it would help if you could spell that key word. :)

I read #94 several times - the post that started it all. First, he doesn't say "the majority" of rape victims make false reports. He says a "growing number." Now that could mean the number has grown from (for example) 5 out of 3 million to 15 out of 3 million - 200% growth - huge growth, but still miniscule in terms of overall percentages. He's a cop and has seen a lot from both sides. However, being a cop, who risks his life every day, it's natural that he would take the cop's side of things.

Nevertheless, all I can say to Heave is... DUDE... remember that you're in a public forum. Be careful. You did screw up big-time...you strongly implied, if not outright said, that "many" rape victims are making false reports. You can't say that and not expect to have your ass handed to you. That reaction was justified. I'm glad you finally changed your tune, but it took several pages of posts! One other piece of advice - if you're going to get into something like this (and I would recommend NOT AGAIN on DS), lay off the rum & cokes beforehand!

I personally believe that for every Duke case (false report), there are many many more that are real... and we don't even know how many aren't reported because of the long history of women who have tried to report and had their lives ruined by the male-dominated system that refused to believe them and tried to turn THEM into the criminals. Don't forget that for hundreds - hell, thousands - of years, women didn't even have REAL credibility and real rights. If you start with the 1960s as a turning point, it's less than 50 years. And only in the past 20 years or so have the numbers of women cops increased to try to change the system. Still, corruption exists and every case like Anne's, where she wasn't believed, is a glaring sorepoint and an embarrassment to our society.

All that being said, despite all the corruption that exists (I live in Boston - you wanna talk about police corruption? What do you call the Boston Police Force - "Irish Welfare" LOL), I still have tremendous respect for cops. Because I look at them, and in every situation they go into, day after day, no matter how benign on the surface, they're risking their lives. Just like firefighters. Even pulling someone over on the highway, they can be nailed by a drunk driver. But they do it... And when I see a cop, my first thought is, "I sure as hell would not want to do THAT job." So thank you to all cops for doing your job.

I'm impressed and blown away that what started as a stupid discussion on masturbation turned into something so meaningful. Nice job ladies. And Frank, be more careful next time. I think you learned a valuable lesson.

So my friends, I sincerely hope and believe that Anne, Joan, and yes, even Heave (he started it after all), have helped us all become more sensitive and understanding on this subject. And to think it all started on a smart-ass topic about... of all things, Battery Operated Boyfriends. Good Lord..... lmao... it almost makes you laugh. Almost.

Too funny. I don't know Bob but I am sure that his company is preferable to that of some of the guys who left us behind.

I didn't mean offense to anyone. I only read Heave's topic before I posted. Sorry.

I am holding my sign up and walking round and round on the sidewalk......

But seriously, men and women can be just as evil as the other.

My son was sexualy abused at a very young age by an eighteen year old girl in the neighborhood.

I think the reason you are seeing so many female teaches going to jail.

The stigma is dropping. I mean really how many things happen to boys and they won't say anything for fear of how pople will look at them.

I think its been going on for ages and its just not been brought to light.

Here is an article that might suprise some.
Its not the first time I haave heard the stats. There was also another article that stated women are th largest group of new viewers of porn.

http://www.babeland.com/sexinfo/features/womenguidetoporn

I guess these days it really is equal opprotunity.

I havent read the whole post..but your ideas are very funny heavetoo. Lol...(And I forgot Bob when I left..dam)

Well as I have said many, many times. You have just got to love the whole DS forum. I not found anything else like this, where you can really express yourself. After being on here for more than a year there have been some really interesting personalities. Believe it or not this was a very mild thread as far as throwing bricks.

I think what makes DS so different is the hugs and journals, add the side-groups and there's just angles all over the place

Screw Bob..(teehee) Rather go without than to use a bob to be honest.

What did Bob ever do to y'all? He is NOT the spawn of Satan, and that's a mean thing to say. I met Bob last year, and I adore him. He does, TOO, know how to cuddle, and I've never known him to lie. To say he lacks heart is just ridiculous; Bob has a wonderful heart AND he gives the best big ole bear hugs!! What the heck are you talking about, batteries? Batteries for what? Bob never needed any batteries when I was around. UP WITH BOB!!!! UP WITH BOB!!!! And y'all quit picking on him. You're gonna hurt his feelings!!!