Beating Trich Community Group

You mean that there is a name for IT? Im not weird? Trichotillomania, that big, long word that is the bane of our world. With knowledge and support of others we CAN break free and live without this disorder interfering with our lives. Lets keep this uplifting and supportive and give each other the encouragement the other needs to make it to that next day.

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Trish's Pull-Free-a-Thon.... ROUND THREE!!!

BooYah
BooYah
This is Trish Tolamania from trichworld if you don't know (yes, I wrote the alias trying to be funny).

I had one pull free streak last November/December, the longest one I remember having ever. Checking in with this community was such a huge help, in order to achieve that. In February I started pulling again and, after a few lame attempts to slow it down, I gave up altogether and just started pulling again at will.

Now it's July 1, I am 3 days pull free and I just want to take it DAY BY DAY and get involved in this community again! I hadn't logged in for so long, when I did log in last week, I started crying hysterically. Isn't that funny?

My main goal right now is to reach 7 days pull free, then buy myself some really expensive hair product as a reward. But I know my main reward for stopping will just be FEELING GOOD AND NOT HAVING TO WORRY ABOUT IT SO MUCH!
confidenticandoit
confidenticandoit
Ughhhhh yeah the stress in my life is making it hard to resist. I have to say work related stress will always be the worst though. Such a perfectionist and afraid of being judged. Oof.

Calm thoughts.... And barriers are a must. Bandaids are the best barrier I've found so far.
mandapanda89
mandapanda89
Barriers!!! You can do it!! Get up and take a break from the work when the urges get too strong.
BooYah
BooYah
Tell me about it Sam....

I am so addicted to pulling out my hair it's not even funny. I don't want to stop. I just want to pull and feel good. Too bad when I look at the damage -- and I mean, REALLY look -- it just looks so terrible I just feel embarassed for myself. What nasty weird looking hair. I hate having to feel so self conscious about it all the time. I know I should be doing alll of the things that I should be doing to make it harder to pull, I should have will power, I should, I should, I should. But pulling feels too good. It makes me feel so comforted when I am nervous and overwhelmed. It's my happy little secret, and I don't need to be conscious about it, I don't need to talk about it or think about it, I can just live in denial and pull happily away as much as I like.

And then I look in the mirror and I hate what I see. Fuck.
BooYah
BooYah
Ok, I have my hair up, I have a scarf on my head, I have my sticky stress ball, and I am going to be posting here. I can try to make it through the next 10 minutes pull free as I try to write this fuck ass report that has already made me cry like ten billion times this past week because my psycho boss called it an "embarassment," even though I worked really hard on it. OK.... I can be pull free until 8.45.
BooYah
BooYah
OK, I made it, but I wasn't writing, I was complaining to my friend on Skype. I can make it til 8.55.
BooYah
BooYah
Ok, we are biting the skin around my nails a lot, but we are still pull free. Don't like what I'm writing though. GOD, when did it all go so wrong and become a giant stinking mess of failure? Thank god I have a phone appoitnment with my therapist tomorrow (I'm supposed to check in with her), I think that is the only thing keeping me sane.

I can make it til 9.10.
BooYah
BooYah
Ok, crap, I pulled out 5 hairs. Totally did not notice it was happening. NO WONDER MY HAIR LOOKS SO FUCKING SHIT.

i CAN put down the hair without playing with it and make it until 9.15
BooYah
BooYah
Ugh.

I so want to pull.

Or bite my nails off.
BooYah
BooYah
My poor nails..... they were so pretty before..... sigh......
BooYah
BooYah
Ate dinner. 2 out of 10 nails are fucked. So is this paper. So am I. Blah.
BooYah
BooYah
hERE I AM, chewing toothpicks and wondering what is the point of it all.
BooYah
BooYah
Still pull free. Bleh. Bite nails, chew toothpicks, go to bathroom, pick at non-existent pimple, hey, what's a ball of nervous energy and depression supposed to do with herself.......
deleted_user
deleted_user
You can do this Trish! You've got all this energy -- try blowing it off by doing, I don't know, something like a zumba dvd or jumping jacks. Or go take a shower. You are so stressed so try to do something for YOU, it may lessen the nervous energy and help you with your work.

Ugh, why is our struggle so hard? Don't let any of it take your hair, like I said, you CAN do this!
BooYah
BooYah
THE STRUGGLE IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HARD.........!!

Now it's almost 5 p.m. and time to start writing again. URRGH. WHAT IF IT'S ALL JUST A DISASTER.

Ok. I can be pull free until 5.55. I will go to the bathroom, sit down, look at my books, my notes, and start writing again.
BooYah
BooYah
Ok, so my itchy scalp means I have pulled 2 hairs. Life's a bitch. I will go to the bathroom, put the scarf on my head, breathe deeply, and keep checking in here. I can be pull free for seven minutes...... RIGHT??